Whats the best way to catch the Loch Ness Monster?

[Jeff Rodriguez]

Originally posted by DanLevin53
Get a really big straw and a bunch of thirsty scotsmen.

You could package it and call it lochness stew. Alot of people would buy that. And it'd aid in the draining.

[DanL]

I say drop a few military-strength torpedos into the loch, tracking system and all.

If you want to avoid that annoying little "what if they hit innocent women and children?" question, then set up a few sonar buoys and once you have a contact that isn't confirmed as a boat, THEN drop the torpedo and let technology do its work.

[Ian W.]

but...that would kill it!! dont' we want to catch it, not kill it? of course, we could always just drop some concussion grenades in, and that would knock it out in a jiffy .

[DanL]

hmmm, touche

lets think back to hollywood.... in The Hunt for Red October, how did they make the sub come out of the water again? I'm pretty sure that one wasn't hit with the torpedo... were they trying to dodge the torpedo? It's been waaaay too long since I last saw that movie, I need to make it a blockbuster night soon.

[Ian W.]

you have to remember though, a monster doesn't have sonar detection like a submarine...

but, you could blast ultrasonic noises into the water, thereby driving anything inside it crazy, and you'd see very quickly if there was anything in there. WHOO!! a foolproof plan

oh, and of course, you need the salami (i think it was?) on a stick. i mean, once nessie comes up, she'll be hungry and want to eat something .

[DanLevin247]

[quote]Originally posted by Ian W.
oh, and of course, you need the salami (i think it was?) on a stick. i mean, once nessie comes up, she'll be hungry and want to eat something . /QUOTE]





Yes. It's a proven fact that all monsters ( sea, closet, underbed, bump in the night ) all enjoy a nice salami on a stick.

[SlamminSammy]

As the only skeptic apparently, it is my duty to inform you of some facts.

1. Almost every large lake in the world has a monster, from the Loch Ness monster to Vermont's Champ in Lake Champlain. None of these "monsters" have any had evidence proving their existence.

2. The Loch Ness Monster only gained popularity after a London surgeon, Dr. Robert Kenneth Wilson, supposedly took a picture of it in 1933. This surgeon then confessed, on his deathbed, that the picture was a hoax.

3. Most native Scottish do not believe Loch Ness has a monster residing in it.

[Jon K.]

i am part scottish and i believe in nessie and anyways champ is a major hoax

[Ian W.]

some old lady killed champ with a shot gun. i'm dead serious about that. saw it on like, history channel or something.

[Joe Matt]

There we GO!

Just get 100 boats with 20 people on it shoot machine guns into the water and see what comes up!

BTW, I thought Mr. Burns had it....

[SlamminSammy]

I don't know... Loch Ness is pretty deep and bullets slow down quickly in water. What about a water-based tranquilizer, do monsters sleep?

[Ian W.]

we could just create another monster. they managed to make small pox, so i'm pretty sure with enough time and effort, we could make an even bigger monster, that we could then send into the loch, which would go and hunt down the current monster. it's completely possible...

or, we could all get together and build a monster robot, which went in and found nessie .

[Scorpion515]

Originally posted by Ian W.
or, we could all get together and build a monster robot, which went in and found nessie .

building robots, there's something we all can do.

but i still like the salami on a stick. much more reliable.

[Katie Reynolds]

Originally posted by Ian W.
...or, we could all get together and build a monster robot, which went in and found nessie

I'm surprised it took almost 45 replies for someone to say that!! Way to go, Ian!

- Katie

Originally posted by Brandon Martus
i was going to say drain the lake.

Bingo...thats all you have to do...If its been done in the simpsons, it can be done in real life...heck over the years Springfield has had a large mountain, turned into a coastal town, and even town around a lake...