The IRI Plot Grows Thicker...

[Amanda Morrison]

Folks, I just received this... mildly disturbing letter in my inbox. I don't know if I'm supposed to post this or not, but apparently my recruiting skills in the Talent Show area have failed me. (Speaking of which, spots are still open.)

_____________________________________

Ms. Morrison,

We're lookin to head out on our midwest tour. Lars changed the oil in the Chevy van yesterday, but the idiot forgot to put the plug in. It took us a long time to clean that wicked mess up, I tell you! We are heading to Zenia, Ohio to do a gig at a retirement home and then we have a bar mitzvah in Cincinnati. We are plannin to camp there too. Hey, that reminds me, since we can't use your showers in the high school, is there a garden hose outside that we can borrow? We will have towels, don't worry. We are trying to bring back the grunge look. Our big gig, one week after your event, is the Boone County fair. Eddie's cousin lives on a sheep farm and he got us an hour gig after their beauty pageant so we need to take a shower before then. We keep asking Eddie's cousin if we can stay with him, but the jerk won't let us. I will see you soon. By the way, are you married? My divorce from my first wife is finally official, if you are worried about that.

Dean Simmons