Engineering slogans

[Neal Probert]

Digging into my vast collection of computer humor collected in the past 25 years, I find a few morsels appropriate for us:

Most computer problems are caused by a loose nut between the chair and the keyboard. [Still looking for other nut and bolt jokes]

Q. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb (battery, victor, motor, ...)?
A. None, it's a hardware problem.
[And a million others]

Q. What's another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker on a Pentium?
A. The warning label.
[There are more Pentium jokes from when they had that floating point bug]

What will you do if your robot says, "Will I dream?".

Q. What language do all programmers know very well?
A. Profanity

Q. What is a robot's favorite drinking song?
A. 99 Bottles of oil on the wall

Clarke's Third Law: Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
[That's why the smoke is magic, because afterwards your technology is indistinguishable from junk]

Murphy's Fourth Law: If there are several things that can go wrong at once, the one thing that will do the most damage, will.

Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics: Things get worse under pressure.

This is a story about People named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everyone though Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody would not do it. It ended up that Everyone blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

[Imagine Clint Eastwood is a programmer, holding his Smith & Wesson, of course]
"Go ahead, make one more change!"

Windows are a pane in the glass.
[I have many other Windows jokes, and some are on the back of my van]

I can C!

Aye Matey, if I be a software pirate, what makes you think I'd admit it?

As a programmer and a poet, I write in rhyme, so I can go from baud to verse.

Chip of Fools

I/O, I/O, off to work we go.

On a clear disk, I can seek forever.

[Brandon Martus]

Originally posted by Neal Probert

Most computer problems are caused by a loose nut between the chair and the keyboard.

Ahh yes, the all too common PEBCAK error.

Problem
Exists
Between
Chair
And
Keyboard

[Brian C]

Ahh yes, the all too common PEBCAK error.

Problem
Exists
Between
Chair
And
Keyboard

I believe this is also related to the, all to common:

I D Ten Tee error.

More understandable when written properly it looks like:

ID10T

One of THE most common computer problems known to man.

[Digo]

there's also BIOS:

Bicho Ignorante Operando o Sistema

but that doesn't make much sense if you don't speak portuguese, so just forget it.

[kmcclary]

Originally posted by Digo
there's also BIOS:
- Bicho Ignorante Operando o Sistema
but that doesn't make much sense if you don't speak Portuguese, so just forget it.

If I read that correctly it's something like: "Ignorant Animal Operating the System", right?

That's great...

Is that a big saying "way down south" there?

- Keith

[johnscans]

"dont trust dan"

[johnscans]

"dont trust dan"

[HolyMasamune]

Friends don't make friends draw

[SuperJake]

Meet The Negotiator. It is a lead sledge hammer that dwarfs all other one-handed sledge hammers. When something doesn't fit right, you'll generally hear the following:

<The User>"Blast! This jobbie [pronounced "job-e"] is stuck! Someone get me The Negotiator!"

<From someone supervising the job>"SEND IN THE NEGOTIATOR!"

<From deep in the shop>"We're sending someone in to negotiate!"

<The User><WHAM!>"Okay, that got it!"

[SuperJake]

Originally posted by mpking
There are several Grades of repairs that are made in the pits:

1. Professional Grade: Part broke/didn't perform. Whole subsystem if ripped off robot, redesigned, new parts machined, and you still make it to your next match in one piece.

I nominate the MOE Pit crew as Progessional grade. During the Philadelphia Alliance Regional, both of MOEHawk's wings sustained damage. The right wing was twisted completely backwards rendering it useless, the left wing was moderatly twisted, and we only had 15min before the next match (note.. after 5min in the pits, they started calling us to be in the queue line).

The pit crew was able to completely replace the right wing along with all sub-systems AND bend the left wing back into working order within the 15min and we were able to deploy, grab all three goals, and held ground the entire 1:53 (after latching down) against 2 robots with minimal support from our allie. We won the match with 0qps because the 'enemy alliance' pulled out of the end zone and blocked our allie from getting into their zone.

Go MOE's Pit Crew!

[FAKrogoth]

Fundamental rule of Engineering: "The more complex it is, the more likely it is to fail."

"e^x dy/dx e^x dx.
cos, 1/cos, cos/sin, sin, pi." - excerpt from the Rose-Hulman cheer

"Do you know the Muffin fan . . ."
"The Muffin Fan?"
"The Muffin Fan!!" - will someone PLEASE stop my team from saying this?

"Just build it and let me look at it, and I'll draw it!" - what I said last year

"My ship works better when I kick it . . ." - Cowboy Bebop

"Your tax dollars at work" - informal name of our robo (in reference to our NASA grant)

"Never underestimate the power, number, or magnitude of stupid people." - me

[Doug]

oh and my ever famous motto
"dont stop till you hear glass breaking"
that can be applied to so many things whether it be parking or general shenanigans

[MBF]

What does an engineer use for birth control?
-Their personality.

Team Member: "There are no attractive women in this room."
Female Team Member: "Guess you're right. You do have a larger rack than I do."

Wearing Camo Labcoat "Alright you newbies, this here is Oakwood Robotics 992, the best of the best. We are gonna do something this year, and you are not going to mess up this man robotics club. Do you understand me maggots!"

"I think we need to do aerodynamic tests on the boxes."
"Oooh! Oooh! Can I throw it now?"

"The physics don't allow that."
"But it's so cool."

[Petey]

Parkinson's Law:

"A project will increase or decrease the time needed to complete it to fill exactly the time alloted for it."

--Petey

[Joe Matt]

It's not what you know, but what you are willing to learn. ~Me