So this article is basically saying my Dad and I are a father-son hacker combo? Interesting, I’ll have to inform him of it. My whole family may classify as a group of hackers.
This seriously has to be the most funny/outrageous thing I’ve seen in a while. I’m debating whether to laugh hysterically or be seriously concerned that someone may believe this.
I… don’t know what to say… other than dressing like that, “DOSing” and grades dropping I fit all the criteria.
WHAT!? The only time I have ever, ever used my computer for less than 45 mins a day is when I am not home.
Also perhaps your son is asking to change ISPs because AOL is terrible!
AOL’s parental controls block some of its own sites! YES! It is slow, gives too many unusable tools, and that accelerator is a piece of crap and destroys images.
As for Quake, no, but I used to play Quake III Areana online, until AOL 9.0 came to exist. Unless that was the Quake he was refering to, but what can I say Quake is nice and easy to mod.
No, those who go against you with obviously wrong information will be met with flaming. Sorry but when I hear “My computer tv will not go into the plug hole,” I lose it. Now when met with somone who simple does not know and is trying to descibe something this is ok, yet when I correct this person time and time again and they still use the wrong terms when asking for my help I just lose it.
He is reading be happy!
WHAT!? What in the world does getting a graphics card upgrade or hard drive upgrades have to do with hacking. AMD, inferior knock off?
You have a hacker son on a sports team?! Shesh I would be happy with that, forget how well he is doing.
Not only that did you see the poll?
We do not use drugs, help Osama Bin Laden, are violent, we aren’t un-American (applies only to US citizens), and in most cases we do not smell bad! We smell like nachos, sweat, burnt rubber, and cotton.
Plus we do not hack into NASA, just because we are at their site a lot does not mean we hack into it.
Sorry if I sound so revved up, as I was reading this I kept losing connection to my neighbors network. Its the closest thing to high speed I got! I just wish it was a little closer…
Id like to know how you break into somebodies stereo. And as long as we are on spelling mistakes its not Linyos Torovoltos its Linus Torvalds
That is an awesome piece of humor.
This has been circulating around for a while now - and every time it shows up I’m very suprised that some people manage to believe it as a true article.
It’s satire - and an excellent piece of satire at that.
Ok. Some of you people are scaring me. I can’t believe you are correcting spelling errors and rebutting some of the points. The article is satire 100%, just like the DaVinci Code is fiction! (oh drat… 114Klutz just posted on the satire part)
I’m guessing the spelling errors are intentional to avoid any copyright or libel concerns.
Who wants to do the CD version of the Article- “10 signs your teenager is addicted to Chief Delphi?” Hurry the internet shuts down for the night in 1 hour and 24 minutes!
Cynette
Already working on the FIRST one 
Oh please, everybody knows hacking into NASA is no big accomplishment. 
But yeah, that article is a great piece of satire. Assuming it was intended that way, the author has my props. But they forgot the most important sign of all:
Your son’s English lessons consist solely of the translated Zerowing.
Here is what a lot of people who read that article do not understand. Yes, there are people that dumb in the world. And yes, some have access to the Internet. And yes, some do create stupid websites and try to preach their values to the world. But this website, and quite a few others, are purposely satirical with as much incorrect information as possible.
They contain downright lies and false facts, that are painfully obvious to any intelligent person. Think of this as either the “moral” behind a fable or subliminal messages on steroids - the real message behind these articles is to question the world around you, think critically, and make informed and intelligent choices. And because of this, I think the real author of this article was way smarter most people think, in order to create such a masterpiece of reverse psychology. And I applaud him (or her) for their efforts.
You got a problem with that?
Rick “Born in '56” TYler
OK so i read the article and agree with the ridiculousness of it, although there is one fact that i think you all should see.
Author:T Reginald Gibbons
Topic:Internet Idiocy
Posted:Dec 02, 2001
yes thats right, it was posted in 2001. Think back to that time, and alot of the things in the article would seem more legit. Alot of the things in the article like Linux, leaving AOL, were common place things. for example broadband connections were first getting popular, and at that time AOL still had a limited “hours per month.” While Linux was gaining popularity there was nowhere near the level of national acceptance that there is now.
I still think there is a good chance that this is a satire but if you look at it from a national historical aspect some things make more sense then today.
Thank you, Greg!
I was starting to think that I was the only one who noticed that it was labeled as “internet idiocy”.
2001? I remember when this first went up.
Wow. I feel old. (How much flack am I going to get for saying that Mr. Tyler? ;))
Anyways, I think it actually was serious at the time, but it’s since been realized to be little more use than humor as it’s fairly…well…wrong
Well, I be a hacker according to this article (already spent many hours online this morning – er, afternoon). 'Cept I’m a daughter, so I can’t be.
Clues, folks, check out the clues…
I dunno wut AMD is, I don’t remember names of any real hackers, but I wuz goin nuts readin an article littered with links like land mines.
So I went to work clicking those links. Most of the ones that are still good go to “relevant” book titles on Amazon (chuckle). One went straight to a porno picture (yuck!).
Even if a parent didn’t know much of the “geek-speak” in the article, or what the current fashions are, the links alone reveal the satiric intent of the writer. No father with real fears about this subject would take the time to pepper his article with 2 or 3 links per sentence, let alone porn.
No way is this guy serious!
But the poll, of course, is right on – they smell terrible! 
I think it’s quite obvious by now that the entire article was a satire. But to answer your question, AMD is a company that makes computer processors, (like intel). And for some future advice, always try to hover a link before you click on it to see where it might lead you to. 
And if a poll with 11015 votes says that hackers smell bad, then it must be pretty darn accurate.
according to the comments on the site, not many people caught it. at first i thought it was serious, then i saw the Internet idiocy.
Chris knows this now. 
Weirdly enough, the satirist (is that a word?) is semi-right about AMD, although they were never third world, for a while they did just about copy intel processors (interfaces at least), stopped doing that, then pretty much dominated them with the K6.
Argh, I read this article (with cody c, Kyle A and Brian) and laughed and yelled at it’s utter lack of comprehension, compilation and common sense.
My spot list:
I use more than 30 min online almost daily.
I use Linux.
Lunix=Linux. Linux was made by Linus Torvalds, a native of Helsinki, Finland and Linux was made in 1991, which was modeled after Minix, which was modeled after Unix, which was made by AT&T.
AMD is an American company. And Intel is just as Un-american as them, because they both have their processors made in Indonesia.
I ask for new parts all the time, and parts from the manufacturer are just if not more so suspect than parts you can buy off of TigerDirect or Newegg. Which, might I add, are both are certified secure by the Better Business Bureau.
Quake? Quake is a Video.Game. Not a portal for your little Jimmy to be corrupted by the hacker elite. And quake happens to have been made in the late 90’s, and is by today’s terms obsolete. Fun, nonetheless .
Bright colored clothes and baggy pants. Oh snap, I’m a hacker! I wear baggy cargo pants and my shirts all have illusions to popular internet culture! Oh snap, call the FBI!!! Not. It’s how people dress that makes them different, not related to a certain archetype. Such identifying people by how they dress and in turn denying them things is called prejudice.
Gets beligerrant and argumentative. Isn’t that a part of the wonderful process called growing up? That the hormones in the body may make people a little more surly? Oh nope, that’s called hacker syndrome.
AOL? AOL? Please, AOL has to be, hands down, the worst ISP in the business, and not cause of privacy filter. Most, if not all services have the same capabilities, and I use Verizon online DSL, which is much better (albeit not perfect).
That’s about all I saw, and that’s my basic rant.
For those who haven’t caught on yet (some people still seem to be posting rants about it) the article is a satire. My personal favourite example of satire is A Modest Proposal (via Project Gutenberg) by Johnathan Swift.
The mission statement for Adequacy.org is pretty cool (read the whole thing).
There is a serious danger that has not been mentioned, and that is SOMEONE WILL TAKE THIS ARTICLE SERIOUSLY.
If you read this entire thread you realize that it took a lot of thinking before someone pointed out that this was a JOKE. If took this many intelligent individuals at ChiefDelphi, then what will happen if a parent goes around the Internet and comes across this article? Imagine what the thoughts going through his or her mind:
“Oh, no! What have I done to Jimmy’s young mind?! I must burn his laptop or else its the electric chair!!! What kind of parent am I, to do this to my own son?!!”
Ma’am, you’re just insane.
The problem with satire is that sometimes its humor is a little too subtle.