Andy Baker

Andy Baker once declined, then still picked his own alliance.

FIRST asked Andy Baker to build a placebo bot, but then refused to give him credit when it won the Midwest regional.

Andy Baker brought his gracious professionalism today.

Andy Baker once won the Team Spirit Award by himself, at a regional with the X-Cats.


Andy Baker IS JVN.

Andy Baker makes everyones grandmother proud.

Andy Baker has already built an underwater robot for next year’s game.

Andy Baker won a match in 2001 with four stretchers.

Andy Baker was ‘done’ a week before Beatty.

Bill Beatty has a recurring nightmare that all his qualifying matches are against three team 45’s and every person in the driver station looks like Andy Baker.


In 2005 Andy Baker capped the center goal in autonomous…with two vision tetras, two hanging tetras, and 4 tetras off the autoloader…in 3 seconds.

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Andy Baker once built a fully working robot with one hand while simultaneously washing farrowing crates, holding piglets and re-ringing sows with the other hand.

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Andy Baker makes Steven Hawking look like a high school dropout.

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Andy Baker knows what Dave Lavery saw at the Virginia Science Museum.

The caption contest scores leave off the real top score each week–Andy Baker’s score is really +infinity.

Andy Baker can hold 80 poof balls and deposit them all in the center goal.

Andy Baker took a week off once, the next week Delphi declared bankruptcy.

Andy Baker doesn’t need CAD or CNC machines. He designs everything in his head, and makes gearboxes with only his bare hands and his teeth.

The Northeast Blackout of 2004 was caused because Andy Baker was recharging his robot army.

FIRST will not give the Technokats the Chairman’s Award because they’re afraid that Andy Baker’s cheering will blow the dome off of the Georgia Dome.

Andy Baker can referee, announce, MC, run the scoring system, reset the field, que up teams, and coach all at the same time, but chooses not to so that others get to do something.

Andy Baker once created a perpetual motion machine, but doesn’t want to run it because the resulting energy would reverse the rotation of the earth.

Andy Baker actually wrote the Beach Boys song “Kokomo” about Kokomo, Indiana, but he let them sing it instead because he liked their voices.


Andy Baker has never lost a FIRST match he coached. Sometimes however he chooses not to win.

FIRST used a carpet-playingfield in 1993 because Andy Baker ate the corn.

Once Andy Baker had a meeting with Bill Beatty, and the result was the 2000 FIRST Game.

“Andy Baker” used to be illegal in FIRST competition, per the exotic materials list.

If Andy Baker says “3, 2, 1, Go” every regional across the country starts a match.

Once, during a pre-match strategy discussion Andy Baker made Paul Copioli cry. Then he coached both teams to the win while Paul pouted.

You cannot buy Andy Baker from McMaster or Small Parts.


Andy Baker moonlights as a record producer, and his first signed act’s debut album “Karthik Fever”]( reaches quadruple platinum in a single day. Somewhere in heaven, Jesus Christ applauds this miracle of miracles.

Andy Baker and Paul Copioli walked into a bar. The bar exploded because it couldn’t handle that much awesomeness at the same time.

From that explosion came a young JVN.

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Andy Baker built a swerve drive that was swervier than wildstang & chief, but he declared “it doesn’t have enough balls.”
This was the origin of the ball-drive.

Andy Baker once arm-wrestled Raul Olivera; this caused the great Los Angeles Earthquake.

Secretly, every FIRST playingfield is made in Andy Baker’s basement.

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Andy Baker sued FIRST last year when it became apparent that their game “Triple Play” was violating the patent of his “Pyramid” game in Cairo.

The Woodie Flowers Award was supposed to be called the Andy Baker Award, but then they realized that nobody could come close to him so they went with “Plan B,” Woodie.

Andy Baker eats other people’s Nacho Cheese, even though it’s not his cheese.

Andy Baker will rip his USB drive out of the port without clicking ‘Safely Remove Hardware.’ He says that such precautions aren’t manly.

Andy Baker already thought of your robot design, but he chose not to use it.

Andy Baker enters a McDonald’s without shoes or sandals, and still gets service.

Inertia is a property of Andy Baker

Once, Andy Baker was partying all night with Paul Copioli and Ken Patton, and the sun came up. Andy didn’t want to stop partying, so he made the sun go back down. With his mind.

Einstein developed his theory of relativity by watching Andy Baker

Gravity is the scientific term for the attractive force of Andy Baker

One time I had to write a report on “What is Gracious Professionalism?” I wrote down “Andy Baker” and got an A+.

Andy Baker doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Andy Baker built a robotusing only a paper clip, a rubber band, and a pinecone. This robot’s name is MacGyver.

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers is a documentary about Andy Baker’s childhood inventions.

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The US government wanted to buy the rights to Andy Baker’s tank drive system, but backed out when the beta test ripped through the surface of the Earth and formed the Grand Canyon.


Andy Baker once saved the entire Porsche company by riding one Segway.


Andy Baker used to have a Blue Ox, but gave it to Paul Bunyan to borrow and never got him back.

Andy Baker can make the green light go on whenever he wants it to by just wishing it and it does.

The first 2 letters of the alphabet were named after Andy (A) Baker (B)

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Andy Baker doesn’t do pullups - he pulls the bar down.

Andy Baker makes everything fit in every hole.


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Andy Baker invented the c-section after round-house kicking his way out of the womb.

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FIRST assumes Andy Baker wins every regional by himself, The winners actually are the ones who come second to Andy.

Andy is infact not short for andrew, its short for awesome…i dont know how, but it is.

One time in 1990 Andy Baker Round house kicked Dean Kamen in the face, and out popped FIRST.

Andy Baker doesn’t need to design his bot he just yells at the kit of parts and they assemble in fear.

Andy baker doesn’t have to AIM High, infact he AIM’s low

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  • Andy Baker can make hex gears using a hand drill
  • Andy Baker once challenged Chuck Norris to a design challenge, Chuck invented the wheel, however Andy won because he invented the omni-wheel.
  • Andy Baker came up with the idea of a water game, but its too awesome for the GDC to handle
  • Andy Baker already won the water game
  • Andy Baker actually is a paid gracious, yes he is a professional gracious.
  • Andy Baker can bear hug Big Mike and Paul Copioli at the same time
  • Andy Baker doesn’t complain that we don’t have enough time to build a robot, he speeds up time so he has more of a challenge.
  • When people put Andy Baker in a caption contest they withdraw their entries in fear of Andy’s wrath

Andy Baker runs like his daughter.
Andy Baker wishes he was Chuck Norris.
Andy Baker can’t sing.
Andy Baker is a great dad.
Andy Baker rocks the mic, sometimes a little too hard.
Andy Baker is a great mentor.
Andy Baker is setting up for Boilermaker Regional as we type.