‘Can you say…ouch? with a smile?’
And over here, we see DJ, doing his impression of “Jess Boucher post-national anthem at IRI”.
Exposition
Bitten on a cow-tipping field trip by a territorially-displaced radioactive ground sloth roaming the pastures of Kokomo, Indiana, mild-mannered dork D.J. Fluck was suddenly transformed into the Amazing(?) Slothman! From that day on, D.J. swore to secretly use his slothly powers to (very slowly) protect truth, justice, and the American way while thwarting the plans of evildoers everywhere!
Caption
Insanely jealous of his cousin Peter Parker’s amazing Wall-Crawling super powers and desperately seeking attention, D.J. foolishly forgets to put on his Slothman suit before demonstrating his powers of Totally-Uncoordinated Floor-Crawling and Super Slow Sloth Speed to the crowd in Houston. Needless to say, they weren’t impressed.
Don’t expect a Slothman movie or comic book any time in this millenium. However, D.J. did inspire one extremely bored spectator to write the Slothman theme song. Here’s the first verse…
Slo-oth-man, Slo-oth-man
Does whatever a slo-oth can
Crawls real slow, on the floor
Trips on bars, he’s such a bore
Who cares? Here comes the Slo-oth-man
remember to stretch out fully before each match, you don’t want to get a cramp while you’re sprinting to the controls at the end of autonomous mode
“Attention in the pits: Will the TechnoKats please come get their human player off the field AGAIN!”
Overheard in the pits: “Great. Can you imagine what it will be like next year when he graduates and becomes a mentor?”
D.J. would do anything for a quarter, but this time he really tripped the bar. 
Makes me wonder why he’s smiling after tripping (yes, I know it’s staged). On that note:
<entry>
“Don’t worry! The ground seems to have broken my fall!”
</entry>
Here we see the Red Wingscurse has yet again taken another victim on the field…
What?
It’s not the Red Wings that have a curse, but the Red Sox?
Oh… Well… My bad!!! 
(Don’t blame me, I’m not into sports.)
“Hi, my name is D.J. Fluck, but you can call me Role Model… or is it Roll Model?”
(Anyone remember that picture? I tried to find it, but apparently it was hosted off-site and isn’t there anymore… ahh well)
Are you SURE this is the way you are supposed to play Twister??? I don’t remember seeing a railing in the picture on the box…
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00000DMBK.01-A3LTAW8FHJ63G2.LZZZZZZZ.jpg
-dave
Unfortunately, that means Jeff’s and Dave’s entries can’t count…well, unless I make the Dave Lavery Corollary to the Gary Dillard Rule or something like that. But it’s too late at night to think of that type of stuff.
Either way, first place goes to…
Second place goes to…
Honorable mentions go to…
tkwetzel
Jay H 237
greencactus3
MissInformation
JVN
BCahn836
JosephM
Greg Needel
Wetzel
GateRunner
DanielBCR
Amanda Morrison
DCA Fan
CourtneyB
Jessica Boucher
T. Hoffman (who is making me seriously consider a word limit…:D)
Jake177
Gary Dillard
And the burn award goes to…
Which means the scores are now…
MissInformation: 54
greencactus3: 52
Gary Dillard: 42
Michelle 236: 41
dlavery: 37
JVN: 36
Greg Needel: 32
Elgin Clock: 31
T. Hoffman: 31
DCA Fan: 28
"Big Mike": 27
EddieMcD: 27
Dorienne Plait: 26
Jeff Waegelin: 25
Jay H 237: 23
Andy Baker: 21
Amanda Morrison: 20
GateRunner: 18
Mike Ciance: 17
BCahn836: 16
JosephM: 16
Brandon Martus: 15
Lil' Lavery: 11
Matt Attallah: 9
Shyra1353: 9
Tom Schindler: 9
Astronouth7303: 9
Rich Wong: 8
tkwetzel: 8
Aignam: 7
Vivelation: 7
Eugenia Gabrielov: 6
Jack Jones: 6
Jessica Boucher: 6
wetzel: 6
ZACH P.: 6
DanielBCR: 5
Kyle45: 5
RogerR: 5
VGMasterShadow: 5
Corey Balint: 4
George1083: 4
Ken Patton: 4
Meli W.: 4
Andrew Rudolph: 3
Ben Lauer: 3
CourtneyB: 3
David Kelly: 3
Denman: 2
DJ Fluck: 2
ECarlson: 2
Jake177: 2
Joe Ross: 2
karinka13: 2
Aaron Lussier: 1
Coco The Monkey: 1
Collin Fultz: 1
DanielBCR: 1
ElfMaster: 1
JakeGallagher: 1
Katie Reynolds: 1
sanddrag: 1
(And it is just now, at the end of the post, that I realize the irony in me saying it’s too late to think of new rules. I’ve got to be at work in two hours!)