[Dean speaking]
“Keep the camera as close to the ground as possible. That way it will seem like I’m going faster than I really am!”
“You know, if you shoot from this angle, I look about four feet taller than I am. Just make sure Brandon Martus isn’t nearby.”
Dean Kamen: alright all the street racers out there, i am ready…
Safety Dance!
Ant #1: I don’t know if this is such a good idea.
Ant #2: What do you mean? It’s a great idea… now you sneak up on his right and bite his ankle and I’ll sneak up on his left and push… and then the Segway is ours… MUAHAAHAAHAAHAA!
NBC NYC Broadcast on Nov. 25, 2004:
Matt: “Katie, this must be one of the new balloons for this year!”
Katie: “Yes Matt, it’s a brand new entry and the first self-propelled giant balloon in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade. This entry is sponsored by DEKA Research and it is simply called SEGWAY. This balloon stands 92 feet high and 22 feet wide and requires NO balloon handlers! The self-propelled mechanism is also created by DEKA Research.”
Matt: “I bet all the balloons will use that self-propelled DEKA balloon controller next year! … BTW…… What is the size of those jeans?”
<Gunner>Pull up… PULL UP!! Agh, no, we’re going to hit the SEG-WAY!
<sound effects> Yeeeroownn </sound effects>
<Pilot>Whew, that was close.
<Gunner> Hey, maybe if we rope Dean’s legs to the SEG-WAY, then we could pull it over.
Star Wars-style snowspeeder from Hoth proceeds to try to pull down the SEGWAY like its an AT-AT
NEW Giant 500 Foot Segway Now At Brookstone For $2,000,000
NOTE- 1,000 foot Dean Kamen NOT Included
evil laugh Muahahahahaha evil laugh
Inventor Dean Kamen, seen here arriving at the set of “Pimp My Ride” to have his Segway overhauled, shortly before he is kidnapped by the cast from “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” who threw out his denim outfit and safety helmet and forced him into a tuxedo.
Look out! Dean Kamen is attacking the City! Run for your lives! Followed by several seconds of poor lip-syncing
Segway: $4000
Denim Outfit: $50
Helmet: $20
Years of research: $ Millions
Flipping over presidents anyways: Priceless.
There are somethings money can buy. For everything else, there’s Dean Kamen and FIRST.
Choosing to find a more wholesome alternative to the recent Fashion Entreprenuership of many figures in the pop culture scene, Dean Kamen releases his own outdoor fashion line, segway included for easy transport and campaign.
I personally think the Dean Fan Club went a little overboard when they said that Dean would be “larger than life.” Lets just hope they don’t give that statue an A.I. processor.
“Hey… I think I see my FIRST safety captain pin over there!”
Excerpt from recent SEGWAY-E sales brochure:
"The new Segway “E” model is designed for adventurous outdoorsmen that long to take their novel mobile platforms into wild terrains. The “E” model, named for co-inventor Eileen Dover,* was specifically created with those who intend to climb hills in mind. By making the down-slope wheel 43% larger than the upslope wheel, the Segway “E” rider can drive across steep hillsides while standing on a stable, level platform. Says Segway developer Dean Kamen, “this makes the Segway significantly more capable in rugged environments. But we do have a little more development work to do for those riders that want to drive CLOCKWISE around the hills…”
-dave
- if you don’t get this one, shame on you!
I’m kinda disappointed I missed last week’s contest… Anyhow, it’s time for the obligatory “IT is the Dean Kamen action figure” conspiracy reference:
<entry>
“It’s the Dean Kamen action figure! Comes with two denim outfits, one tuxedo, one helmet, and a lot of Gracious Professionalism. Scale toy Segway sold separately.[size=2]”
</entry>
I swear, that picture looks like the worm’s-eye view shot of the toy you’d see on the back of every Japanese toy box.
[/size]
A sneak peek at this summer’s next smash-hit: “Honey, I Blew Up the Inventor” starring Rick Moranis as Wayne Szalinski and Billy Crystal as Dean Kamen.
with these newly designed high performance tires that grip the asphalt like no other, dean kamen attempts to break the parking lot slalom track record on his fully customized segway featuring state of the art gyro technology and very stiff lightweight suspension components.
A determined Dean Kamen, on a very blue day, in all his resplendent blue glory, revs up his Segway to crash the stage at the rockin’ Eiffel 65 concert and sing his favorite song, “Blue (Da Ba Dean)”…
Cue crappy Euro dance/techno beat…
BLUE (Da Ba Dean)
By: Eiffel 65
Yo listen up here’s a story
About a little guy that lives in a blue world
And all day and all night everything I see
Is just blue
Like me inside and outside
Blue my helmet with blue denim jeans
And a blue denim shirt
And everything is blue for me
And myself all day and every day
Cause I ain’t got nothin else in my closet (my closet…my closet…).
I’m Blue da ba Dean da ba daa da ba Dean da ba daa da ba Dean da ba da
I’m Blue da ba Dean da ba daa da ba Dean da ba daa da ba Dean da ba da
There is a blue square in the FIRST logo.
Blue is the colour of all that I wear.
Blue are the people on Team Cyber Blue.
I know Dave Kelly, and he was so Blue.
Blue is the color of the Cheesy Poofs
Blue like my blue shirt, it’s in and outside.
Blue are the states who all now have to wait (:p)
Blue is the Lightning of Five-Seven-Eight.
I’m Blue da ba Dean da ba daa da ba Dean da ba daa da ba Dean da ba da
I’m Blue da ba Dean da ba daa da ba Dean da ba daa da ba Dean da ba da
I’m Blue da ba Dean duh blah blah duh bah duh blah blah blah blah blah blah…