“Don’t look at me like that, I always put on my RCU headband everytime I open up my Coke ever since that one little incident. Remember, when they shook it up on me and when I opened it it shot out everywhere and soaked my hair and then I had Coke dripping on my face for the rest of the day. The headband atleast will keep it from running in my eyes if it happens again.”
Dori - “Come here children, and try some of my wonderful elixir! It is the wonderful syrup of life, and source of all things good! Try just a taste, and your life will be different forever! It’s OK, it is all free (at first)!”
Wild-eyed Henchman - “… life … different … forever! … Must … have… more!”
Billfred: Oh no… Dori’s the new 007!!! Kid in the background: Dori has a license to kill?!?! Billfred: Of course not, do you think the British Secret Service is stupid!! She has a license to drive… that’s dangerous enough!!
see this? this is our secret way of pumping our tanks up in 10 seconds flat! a bottle of coke with about enough coke in it to cover the bottom of the bottle when you tilt the bottle to a 45 degree angle. actually its not an about. its exactly. but its a secret. so i cant tell you if shaking it 23 times (counting one up and down motion as one shake) in 10 seconds with evenly spaced shakes is gonna work or not.
<sidenote> this caption sucks. i gotta think of a new one…
Looks like the Coke bottle was shaken first and there was a distinct lack of coordination…Dori aimed at Billfred, but turned her shirt the color of soda!
guy in back with glowing red eyes: (in an uncharacteristically deep voice) Your Coke will soon be mine…
guy in back: (uses telekinetic powers to suck bottle into hand)
Dori: (says some witty statement about getting coke back)
guy in back: (goes into cliche martial arts pose and makes “bring it” hand signal)
Dori: (goes into similar pose)
Billfred: (sets camera to movie mode)
(Matrix-style fight breaks out with guy in back and Dori flying around whenever they jump)
Billfred: (captures obligitory “camera rotates around fighters while they’re frozen in mid kick” shot)
Phil: (grabs coke, drinks it, then runs for safety) Ha! Ha! The Coke is mine!
“Due to record high Mountain Dew prices, people have been forced to use less effective fuels in their systems. Note Dori’s eyes are only partially open, indicating that her Coke hasn’t completely woken her up.”
Dori: Look, I found this half empty bottle of Coke…and this strange ring around my neck. …Meanwhile…
**Robot in Back: **They’re thieves. They’re thieves, they’re filthy little thieves. Where is it? Where is it? They stole it from us. My Precious. Curse them, we hates them! It’s ours it is, and we wants it.