CD's Unofficial Caption Contest #677

Welcome to the fourteenth straight year of the Chief Delphi Unofficial Caption Contest! (holy crap I’ve been doing this too long…)

After the season-ending contest last week, here are the scores:

You        0

Instead, I give you the rules. (Other rules have been created, but these are the ones that see use.)

Normally, every entry gets an honorable mention worth two points because the old half-get-two-half-get-one format was a lot of work for basically zero difference. One particularly good zinger will receive the burn award and three points. Singles will be reserved for blatant copycat entries or the truly incomprehensible. And don’t make me award a zero. (I think that’s happened once in 13 full years.)

There have been some updates to the rules over the years:

(“Working” gets a rather liberal interpretation, mind you.)

Since then, the only thing that’s changed is the deadline: **Sunday at midnight Eastern, **though entries posted afterward will count if they’re posted before I open the thread to score it.

Here’s this week’s picture:

https://www.chiefdelphi.com/media/photos/42725

Go!

The standard penalty for any team failing bumper inspection on their first run through inspection. Lessons are enforced by liberal usage of bumpers, “applied” wherever the instructor can find a place for them.

RoboPromo presents its bumper timeshare program to an audience of excited teams.

I got arrested by the FRC police and charged with saggy bumpers… Judge Merrick sentenced me to 20 hours of Bumper School.

So teams, you want to know about bumpers, do you? Well, I guess I could teach you a thing or two.
BUMPER POWERED BUMPER POWERED BUMPER POWERED
If you’re all about foam and cloth and all you need to depart is a team and a bot. A sharp set of skills in a glazing arc. Competitive robots looking all sharp. If you’re all about reaching far, all need some folds as sharp as a czar. Seeking the folds on secret charts, folds so crisp they break my heart, loaded with pool noodles and feeling like Descartes.

<npoe> Ok, I kinda ran out of rhymes on that last one. </npoe>

Yes, you have a question?

You can’t fool me that easy - 101 is Striker, not Bumpers.

Yes, you in the back, you have a question?

GET OUT! GET OUT! NO WE WILL NOT COVER BUMPER COVERS! YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME? DON’T COME IN HERE AND MAKE A MOCKERY OF ME!

Ok, any other questions? No? Ok, well Let’s begin. The first step in making…

Do you see this? Do you see this?

It’s Bumpers 101, not Bumpers 2474!

101? I thought we only needed a red one and a blue one.

OK class, here is our first quiz: Is “Bumpers 101” on the whiteboard an acceptable font for the bumpers? Why or why not?

Teacher: “Before we begin, are there any questions?”
Student 1: “What are bumpers?”
Student 2: “Why do we need bumpers?”
Student 3: “Will there be quizzes? I hate quizzes.”
Teacher: “This is going to be a long season.”

Remember, when you stick the numbers on the actual bumper, use your actual team number, and don’t put the word “Bumper” in front of it.

Bumpers 101: The class where all assignments are left till the last minute. The class treated as a bird course by too many.

"I know the only reason most of you are sitting here is because this class is a pre-req for Drive Train 133, Manipulators 201, and Pit Crew 305. So while this may not be your favorite class you must pay attention in order to pass and move on to more interesting stuff.

On to our first lesson: Freshmen."

“But sir, we’re on the blue alliance this match!”

“This is our bumper. Hopefully, by the end of Bumper School, there will be many like it, but this one is ours.”

Unfortunately, the BUMPER rules are so complicated that you need to also take BUMPERS 345: Staples and Angle Clamps, BUMPERS 378: Pool Noodle Compression, BUMPERS 424: Corners in Fabric and BUMPERS 687: Advanced FRAME Perimeter and Compliant Corners to have the knowledge required to build BUMPERS that pass inspection.

This is my bumper. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Here is our whiteboard, which we use a lot.
Also seen is our red whiteboard eraser. Which we use a lot…

Robopromo: “Better bumpers, better robot performance. Guaranteed!”

[RIGHT]Student: “Source?”[/RIGHT]

Robopromo: …
http://i.imgur.com/BvKQELs.png