This here is the brand new Ford F5881. It gets 2.5 minutes per battery, has been EXTENSIVELY crash tested, is lightweight at only 119.9 pounds, and CAWsts only $4,000. Now available with 0% APR for six months.
Ian: “This robot can lift this cube 8 feet in around 4 seconds. Any questions?”
Bot scout: “Yes, but doesn’t Team 1501’s robot lift the cube in under 1 second?”
Ian: “Next question.”
Dear Boyscouts. Thank you for earning your Architecture merit badge by building this year’s field elements. Here is the robot we built to play on your field. If you build our field next year for us, we’ll let some of you earn your Robotics merit badge by helping design next year’s robot. Unless it’s a water game, then you can get your Canoeing badge.
Sincerely,
Team 5881.
Kids, balance is very important. You need to make sure one Power Cube is unable to tip your robot. It’s OK if two can because by rule, that will never ever happen.
"It appears that your scratch-off card from this dealership is not a winner. But if you can catch this multi-purpose portable storage crate that’s definitely not a milk crate with a fancy cover launched from the robot here, you can keep it for free! Just give us your phone number and email address so we can [STRIKE]inundate you with phone calls and emails every time a car shows up on our lot, even though we’re well aware that you have absolutely 0 interest in 99% of the cars we’re calling and emailing you about[/STRIKE] notify you of future contests and promotions.
ijensen: “God, you all are USELESS! You can start fires, survive in the woods, and tie more knots than there are active teams, but none of you can fill out my Google form?!? I thought I was promised SCOUTS!”
ALRIGHT LISTEN HERE YOU PEOPLE: Internet Marketing Specialist. I didn’t sell the cars, I just made them look good online. And took a red pen to salesman emails so they might occasionally suck less.
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