I had problems thinking of something…hmm…
The ChiefDelphi personals section backfired when the Cool Squad took out a hit on every JVN.
Does that even make sense? lol
After an unsuccessful career as “posterboardmaster”, Brandon Martus decided to buy a computer and try something else.
… and tonight, on “America’s Most Wanted FIRSTers”, we focus on 32 FIRSTers who were active in 1999. If you know the whereabouts of these formerly dedicated mentors and students, please call 1-888-888-4747.
i came up with a really good one, but dave lavery posted it first :ahh:
anyway, here is my entry:
“After becoming a monk, taking his vows of silence, and rejecting all technology, Brandon Martus still yerned to run his own message boards.”
I don’t wanna know who took THOSE pictures…
“Milestones in FIRST History, July 2001. Fair-haired Canadian and noted CD addict Karthik Kanagasabapathy, in desperate need of a girlfriend, posted his pic here on this ChiefDelphi message board, accidentally mistaking it for a find-a-date service. And while Karthik struck out with the ladies, this was the first time Karthik ever posted on ChiefDelphi. The rest, they say, is history.”
wow this one is hard…
well my entry for this time is…
the people on the left are shining… the ones on the right are kinda dull…there are 13.33333333333333333333% more dull people on ChiefDelphi.com than shiny ones.
aaagh this one’s tough… and I think I’m a bit late but oh well.
“A True Sign of the Apocalypse (We mean it this time.)”
Alright, so I firmly expected to be in my room at the deadline to enforce the law. But since VOMIT (Variations On Most Interesting Talents) called me away, I’ll allow it. This time.
Now, here comes the really hard part…picking a winner! I actually had to whip out the rulebook and judge on that. (For anyone who’s interested, it’s originality, or in the absence of that, dry humor.)
First place: Mike Ciance…
“After becoming a monk, taking his vows of silence, and rejecting all technology, Brandon Martus still yerned to run his own message boards.”
Second place: Elgin Clock…
“U.S. National - AP
Fri July 13, 2001 - 05:21 PM
Pontiac, MI USA - The ongoing feud to rename the “Rumor Mill” to the “Rumor Lathe” was put aside this weekend by parties representing both sides of the debate when ChiefDelphi.com crashed and the back-up system had to be implemented.”
Honorable mentions, which I’ll force you to scroll for since there’s quite a few of them…
Amanda Morrison
RogerR
Tom Schindler
Michelle 236
Brandon Martus
Jessica Boucher
EddieMcD (alright, you weren’t too far off)
DCA Fan
Gary Dillard
greencactus3
Jay H 237
T. Hoffman
And I was about to avoid this, but I decided to bring back the “oooo, buuuuuuuurn” award. This was about as challenging as picking the winner, as there were quite a few good burns contained in these entries. But I wound up settling on Dave’s entry…
‘And at the recent CD Webhug, 32 pictures of someone named “JVN” suddenly appeared under the “Who Are You?” section of the bulletin board. Normally this would not be noteworthy, but they were all sequential shots of an unconscious Mr. V-Neun being Saran-wrapped by one “Amanda Morrison.”’
Jay would’ve gotten the award, but c’mon…you know that deep inside Dave likes that photoshopping. (How else would the “That’s Pimp” button get on the big screen?)
so what else…oh yeah! scores!
greencactus3: 28
Jeff Wagelin: 24
Michelle 236: 22
MissInformation: 20
Mike Ciance: 15
Gary Dillard: 14
Brandon Martus: 13
dlavery: 12
EddieMcD: 11
Elgin Clock: 11
Lil’ Lavery: 11
Greg Needel: 10
“Big Mike”: 10
Tom Schindler: 8
Astronouth7303: 7
Andy Baker: 7
Jay H 237: 6
Vivelation: 6
Shyra1353: 5
Amanda Morrison: 4
Corey Balint: 4
DCA Fan: 4
George1083: 4
JVN: 4
Ken Patton: 4
ZACH P.: 4
Aignam: 3
Andrew Rudolph: 3
Ben Lauer: 3
David Kelly: 3
Dorienne Plait: 3
RogerR: 3
T. Hoffman: 3
BCahn836: 2
Jessica Boucher: 2
Joe Ross: 2
Meli W: 2
Aaron Lussier: 1
Coco The Monkey: 1
Collin Fultz: 1
ElfMaster: 1
JosephM: 1
Katie Reynolds: 1
sanddrag: 1
Matt Attallah: 1
GateRunner: 1
Until sometime Sunday morning…
Wow, I’m so happy…I’m as funny as such FIRST dignitaries as JVN, Amanda Morrison, etc. Yay!
Yeah! I’m funnier that Lil’ Lavery!
-dave
(as I fully expect retribution for that one, applications to be my food-taster are now being accepted)
YAY! im still funnier than EVERYONE!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA 
but this particular time i was funnier than you! 
Wanna adopt another kid…
I’m always available to have a second set of parents…
Sorry, it wouldn’t work - at least not until you stopped driving Chevys. We’re a “Ford family.” 
-dave
FORD?! AUGH!
(Alright, so there are a few Fords I wouldn’t mind driving. Like the GT. Or the '05 Mustang. Or the Escape Hybrid. But this is still the same company that brought us the Taurus.)
aand the escort. ugh… dont even mention the probe… SUCH poor styling…
… and for you self-immolation fans, there was always the Pinto.
Look, I know all the stories, and all the jokes, and all the different things that “FORD” can stand for. Doesn’t matter. I drive a '97 Mustang GT convertable. Before that it was a '85 Mustang GT 5.0 liter 5-speed T-top. Before that it was a '73 Mustang with a 351 Cleveland. And before that I drove a '68 GT Mustang Shelby Cobra KR500. What can I say - I like 'em!
And when I can save up $160,000 by selling my house and throwing my family out on the street, I will look seriously at the Ford GT - it is just plain kick-a$$!
-dave
I just can’t resist commenting.
I own the '68 in my “who am I pic”. I also owned (and partially still do if you count all the pieces I have) another '68 coupe I bought last summer for parts. These are some of the easiest and cheapest cars to restore because of the sheer number of them that were originally produced and the incredible amount of NOS and repro parts out there and sources to get them from. There are also a lot of repro parts being made now with the original factory tooling. If anyone is ever thinking about getting into restoring classic cars these are good cars to start off with to get experience even if deep down you aren’t a Ford person. :rolleyes:
When I got my license at 16 I had the opportunity to purchase my Aunts '73 Mustang Grande with a 302 but didn’t because at the time I wasn’t interested in restoring cars. Now I can kick myself especially since it was a running and drivable car at that time. My father also owned a '73 Grande with a 302 but traded it in in the early 80’s for a Chevy Citation.
Also if anyone’s wondering the second '68 I owned was best as a parts car. While all the pieces it needed were available it needed extensive work since it sat in a field for 11 years and had sunk to it’s axles. The bottom 4-5" of the car just wasn’t physically there anymore. All the upholstry was destroyed by mice. Plus it was only a six cylinder and had an automatic, vinyl roof and AM radio as it’s only options. Not a rare car by any chance. My aunts '73 Grande? It’s fate was worse than the '68 coupe parts car. One day several years ago it wouldn’t start and they decided to get it towed. Now the car was parked in the driveway in front of the garage and the driveway sloped steeply down to the garage door. The tow truck didn’t want to go down the driveway because of the incline so he ran a cable down to the car. He winched the car backwards up the driveway to the top and stopped to get ready to hook it to the truck. Before he could disconnect the cable he had to put it in park so it wouldn’t roll back down. As he opened the drivers door, and before he could reach inside, the cable snapped and the car took off down the driveway. It went through the closed garage door, through the garage (no other vehicles were in it or the driveway at the time), punched a hole through the back wall and landed in the in ground pool! :ahh:
So if it hasn’t met the crusher yet there’s a heavily mangled metallic copper colored Grande with a black vinyl top sitting in a salvage yard somewhere in Bergen County, New Jersey. 
And if you’re wondering what my dream car is, it would be a Grabber Blue '69 or '70 Shelby Convertible. GT350 or 500…doesn’t really matter to me.
MOPAR FOREVER!!!