Welcome to the nineteenth year of the Chief Delphi Unofficial Caption Contest! Yes, this contest predates 3v3 play, FIRST Tech Challenge, functionally any student on an FIRST team, and my team winning regionals (not that the latter is a low bar to clear).
Instead, I give you the rules. (Other rules have been created, but these are the ones that see use.)
Normally, every entry gets an honorable mention worth two points because the old half-get-two-half-get-one format was a lot of work for basically zero difference. One particularly good zinger will receive the burn award and three points. Singles will be reserved for blatant copycat entries, things that cross “burn” into “okay chill dude”, or the truly incomprehensible. And don’t make me award a zero. (I think that’s happened once.)
There have been some updates to the rules over the years:
(“Working” gets a rather liberal interpretation, mind you.)
Since then, the only thing that’s changed is the deadline: Sunday at midnight Eastern, though entries posted afterward will count if they’re posted before I open the thread to score it.
Some prima-donna MCs demand assistants. “I’ll hold three flags at once, that’ll show 'em,” says Nick. “I just someone to hold my drink,” he goes on.
Andy Baker was the original choice to replace Billfred as MC. Once organizers realized that Andy Baker as MC tends to cheer the roof off the building, Nick was quickly tapped to TRY TO replace both of them.
You can see the concentration on the MC’s face as he struggles to remember which flag points at which team in intros. At least 4001 made it easier by labeling their flag pole.
There once was an MC named Nick
Who’s hobby was flags on a stick
Everywhere he’d go
His flags he would proudly show
He just never knew which one to pick
Billfred: “Good evening, class. Tonight I shall be carrying on from where we got to last week when I was showing you how to defend yourself against anyone who attacks you armed with a piece of fresh fruit.”
Andy: “Oh, you promised you wouldn’t do fruit this week. We’ve done fruit for all six weeks of build season! Now that we are in week one, can’t we do something else for a change?”
Nick: “Like someone who attacks you with a team flag?”
Billfred: “Ooh, ooh, ooh; we want to learn how to defend ourselves against team flags, do we? Getting all high and mighty, eh? Fresh fruit not good enough for you, eh? Well, let me tell you something, my lad! When you’re walking home tonight and some great homicidal maniac comes after YOU with a bunch of loganberries, don’t come cryin’ to me!”
My flag boy and your flag boy