Alright while the Chuck Norris Plague is still spreading around… or maybe its just here, but what are the weirdest Chuck Norris “Facts” you have heard
“Chuck Norris can divide by zero”
“Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door”
“rock beats scissor, Scissor beats paper, and Paper beats rock, But Chuck Norris beats all three”
“Chuck Norris has no chin behind his beard, only another fist”
“There is no such thing as evolution, only creatures that Chuck Norris has allowed to live”
“If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ Enemies check the list of extinct species”
“Chuck Norris went to Mars before we did, thats why there is no life”
“The number of roundhouse kicks has increased 13,000% since Chuck Norris was born”
I feel so left out since I have no flipping clue who Chuck Norris is. (I’ve had people show/explain but it means nothing since I’ve never seen it for myself)
Weirdest: The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
**Not as weird but good:
**
If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
Chuck Norris’s show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn’t run.
Well, I picked these off a website, but they’re the ones that made me almost spit Fanta on the keyboard
• In the beginning there was nothing…then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said “Get a job”. That is the story of the universe.
• While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
• Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
• Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Chuck Norris ordered a steak. The steak did what it was told.
Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in ravioli. Instead, he stuff’s turtle shells full of beef and slathers it in pig’s blood.
well for those of you who have no idea who Chuck Norris is, he was the main actor in Walker Texas Ranger. He lost to no one, and roundhouse kicked every one of his opponents at least once.
