Ms. Morrison,
Thank you so much for allowing our band to play at your robotics competition talent show thingy. Sorry about the mix-up in the beginning of our set. Ozzy was thinking that we were at the “Olde Yankee Retirement Home”. We were supposed to play there the night before, but those geezer jerks cancelled on us. I told Eddie to stop flirting with the lady at the front desk at the “home”, but he would not listen. I tell ya, that Eddie thinks he is pretty smooth, but he is not.
We were amazed to be mentioned as “talent show winners”, along with that sick kid who drank the toothpaste spit. To be mentioned with such talent made our trip worth it. It was great to get his autograph on that cup. I have never met a kid from California. Are they all this cool?
As for the trip, we had many wicked great experiences. On our way back to the east coast, we stopped by Richmond Indiana to rest. We were sitting in a park and some crazy kid on an ATV about ran over Lars. The kid fell off the 4-wheeler and sprained his ankle, serves him right. We come to find out that he was at the same robotics thingy that you were hosting. The kid had green lipstick on. Kinda wierd, huh? Hey, speaking of wierd, one of the event organizers approached us about being our manager. His name was Chris Folks or something like that. What kind of a name is Folks? Is it Amish? Anyway, that guy acted like we could make it big. He gave us his number, but Ozzy lost it after he took a shower the next night. He would lose his head if it wasn’t tied on. Can you give us his number? Do you have a phone number too?
Oh, yeah, and what was the deal with the kids jumping around in a circle? Is that some sort of Indiana tradition? No one has ever done that when we play before. It reminded me of when mom used to ring the dinner bell. What was with the weird surfer-looking guy in the Hawaiian shirt that kept running into the big kid that looked like a mack truck? I don’t think that even Slash would’ve been up for that collision.
Speaking of Slash, he is really sorry about that whole episode late Friday night. Hopefully, he’ll obey the restraining order and not cause any more trouble. Aside from that, we had a great time. It seems like you technical-types liked our music. We even saw a guy with grayish hair banging his head. We were wondering if he followed us from the “Old Yankee Retirement Home”, but then you had him as a judge. So, we figured that he was cool. Do you think that we could play at some more of these robotics thingies? If you do, don’t tell Dean K. He has told us to stay away from these things, so we don’t want him finding out.
Anyways, take care. Slash says that he will get a check soon to you for the “damages and mental anguish” that he caused. He feels bad and would like to call you.
Dean Simmons
