I know we are in the madness of early build season and everyone is focussed on building great robots, but I have a completely different topic on my mind. I realized I should ask the opinion of coaches on this forum who have years of experience.
What are some methods to help soft spoken kids find their voice? I remember when I was competing as a student, it was very inspiring to see student leaders who were older than me speak with confidence and authority. It fueled my path towards leadership and helped me to build my self confidence on my own. This allowed me to become a student leader myself but I never was coached in leadership and I wonder if my progress could have been accelerated.
Now with a different perspective I am an adult coach on a team with many talented kids who are new to FIRST and tend to be quiet and reserved. And even though some students have told me they want to become better communicators and have their voices heard, when faced with the opportunity they often shy away.
Speaking with confidence in front of your peers and adult authority figures is a scary prospect. What have you learned that helps young and quiet students to find their voice and emerge as leaders?
There are many different forms of leadership. For some it is being in front and speaking to groups. For others it involves technical leadership. For others it is more subtle still, making sure things get done.
You should encourage students to find the voice that works for them and that not all leaders look the same way.
Providing opportunities for leadership but with guardrails to protect them can help too. Help them build confidence in their own style of leadership. If they are speaking to a group emphasize that you will be right there to support them but you have absolute faith in them. If something doesn’t go well help with the retrospective to identify what happened and any steps that could mitigate it in the future. And recognize sometimes stuff just happens.
You help them by understanding what their goals are and helping them get there.
I think the most important thing is taking things one step at a time, and more importantly, in a safe setting.
When students want to practice ownership, start by giving them smaller tasks that train them the same skills, but with smaller stakes. Or when they want to practice leadership over a group, start with a smaller group of people they know relatively well.
When people get confident in new skills, it’s generally easier to speak up because they know they have succeeded before.
And as mentioned above, I think a good mentor should always have guardrails in place. Give them the freedom they need to grow, but make sure that they have someone to fall back on when they need it.
There are some general things you can do to help everyone with public speaking. Not only does that help them with confidence in a group setting, but it also helps when talking to judges or the public at outreach events. Towards that end, we have a couple of things we do:
Talk about filler words, and gently help them be more aware when they use them
Talk about imposter syndrome
Talk about power poses
Talk about self advocacy
At every meeting in the fall, and periodically during the build season, we have “wrap-up” at the end of the meeting. Everyone in a circle, and we go around talking about what we’ve worked on or learned since the last wrap-up. Everyone has to stand up, practice their public speaking with the group. It helps them not only personally, but also helps everyone know and understand what’s going on with the whole team.
We have an aspect of student mentorship in the team. When working on something, students almost always pair up, an older student and a younger student. Good opportunity for the younger student to learn and the older student to teach. And I’ve found that teaching something and having someone looking to you for that knowledge, is a great way to help build people up (so long as you’re also there to support them!)
Beyond that, it’s important to know that every student is different, and every one of them needs something different from you. You’ll find that some just need you to get out of their way. Others need to feel supported (a little praise when they offer an idea can go a long way!). Some need to be drawn out (Make it a point to ask what they think during group discussions). I remember one student who came out of her shell when verbally “poked”, and seemed to really gain a lot of confidence by being a part of the “friendly fun jokes”.
I know something that helped me out as a student and then for some of my students throughout the years was letting them know it’s okay to sometimes “fake it 'til you make it.” Obviously doesn’t work for everyone, but sometimes knowing you don’t need to know everything to lead helps.
Thanks for all the input. It sounds like guide rails, confidence building, and letting them be themselves rather than a copy of your idea of leadership are all important things to focus on.
I was discussing this topic with a teacher friend who works with speech and debate. One simple thing he mentioned that helped is: “If you ask someone to speak up and be vocal, make sure they have something worthwhile to say.”
I think that is a good perspective because I’m sure when in a new environment among many experts, it can be difficult to speak up if you don’t have anything substantial to contribute. Helping students to become more outspoken probably starts by helping them to find a knowledge niche.