How NOT to program

I’m sure most of you are up on your slashdot, but if you happened to miss it, there was a good post today: How NOT to go about a programming assignment (Google cache is here - just in case it was killed by /.).
I know I’m going to have my programming proteges give it a read.

Just a clarification: this is a joke. I didn’t realize and I was like, this guy is the stupidest…oh. Haha.

And you think you’re programming this year?

We’re doomed.

Haha, ya… It too me a minute to realize that too…

I’d show this to my programming team, but I’m not sure if they’d pick up on the fact that it’s not serious.

It took me a while, and my suspicions were only confirmed when I came back here…

haha, thats hilarious!

I do think that this is funny, and the fact that some programmers didn’t catch on right away is even funnier.

If Dilbert’s Pointy-haired boss wrote code, that’s exactly what he do (and worse).

Ya’ gotta love over-encouragement. (and reverse psychology)

Ignore messages:
They forgot to mention to always set the –Wall compiler flag.

Don’t stop to think:
OTOH, if you do, always think too much. Even if your loop is O n5, go ahead and write it out – you’ve got reams of paper.

** I don’t want any trouble:**
Sure you do! Don’t forget about all those bucks that come from maintenance and support. Let’s not forget about job security either. Who’s going to fix it, a manager?

** Reading:**
Be very careful here. If you create something brilliant and present in a way that even your Prof. can understand, he will at best, mention you in his refereed article – or at worst, re-write in ADA and sell it to the Pentagon.

**Writing **
(Ibid) Plus, don’t forget that job security thing. Comments will only get you outsourced!

** Don’t ask for help:**
** Challenge your lecturer:**
Jeesh, they assume you even went to class.

** Be clever using electronic mail:**
Don’t forget, assuming it compiles, to attach the executable. Remind him to change the extension back from .txt to .exe, which most e-mail handlers would strip. This is especially true when your program causes catastrophic failure – you won’t have to look up how to spell catastrophic – he/she will recognize it immediately.

** Leave it all for the last minute:**
Duh? Who doesn’t?

** Cheat with your assignment:**
Not advisable, just cut-n-paste from many others’ work. Works best when friends think “modular.”

Nice work

Terrible programming goodness everyday. :wink: