How To Procrastinate

How to write a paper in university (or in HS):

  1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lit place in front of your computer

  2. Log onto MSN and ICQ (be sure to go on away!)

  3. Check your email

  4. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it

  5. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some chocolate to help you concentrate

  6. Check your email

  7. Call up a friend and ask if he/she wants to go to the caf and grab a hot chocolate…just to get settled down and ready to work

  8. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well-lit place

  9. If your room is not clean, take out the garbage and vacuum first

  10. Read over the assignment again to make certain you understand it

  11. Check your email

  12. You know, you have not written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You had better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate

  13. Look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror

  14. Grab some MP3’s off Kazaa

  15. Check your email


  1. MSN chat with one of your friends about the future (i.e. summer plans)

  2. Check your email

  3. Listen to your new MP3’s and download some more

  4. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if she has started writing yet. Exchange derogatory remarks about your prof, the college, the world at large

  5. Walk to the store and buy a pack of gum. You have probably run out

  6. While you got the gum, you may as well buy a magazine and read it

  7. Check your email

  8. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you are not missing something truly worthwhile on TV

  9. Play some solitaire

  10. Check out

  11. Wash your hands

  12. Call up a friend to see how much they have done…probably has not started either

  13. Look through your housemate’s book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is

  14. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future

  15. Check to see if has been updated yet

  16. Check your email and listen to your new MP3’s

  17. You should be rebooting by now, assuming that windows is crashing on schedule

  18. Read over the assignment one more time, just for the heck of it

  19. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise

  20. Lie face down on the floor and moan

  21. Punch the wall and break something

  22. Check your email

  23. Mumble obscenities

  24. 5am - start hacking on the paper without stopping. 6am -paper is finished

  25. Complain to everyone that you did not get any sleep because you had to write that stupid paper

  26. Go to class, hand in paper, and leave right away so you can take a nap.

Brilliant. I’m not sure if you wrote that yourself or not, but I’ve never seen this one. Good job. :slight_smile:

so far, most of these have happened with every paper i’ve written… but i’ve done pretty good on all of my paper’s so far

i hope i didn’t just jinx myself

Last night I started my homework at 7:30

7:45 got online and chated

8:30 went back to homework

9:00 went to watch Monday Night Football for awhile

9:30 finished chem lab report

9:31 went back online

10:30 watched more of MNF

11:35 Watched Leno/Online

12:35 Conan O’Brien

1:15 Became a Sellout and started own Web Store for my stupid website

2:30 Started Spech Outline

3:30 Finished it, went to bed

7:00 Woke up and went to Chem

I thought of one more thing to add to that. Find something that either can spin or lights up. That’ll take a good amount of time.

Or you can go make sure the universal joint in your socket set is not misplaced, and then you’ll be mesmorized for hours as to how it works as you rotate it at different angles.

Wow. It’s my life summed up in a thread. LOL - not really. But that’s how it goes a lot of times except that the frequency of checking e-mail and checking CD’s site is much much higher. Ironically, I could be putting off work right now. Not this time though.

Another one to add to the list: Take a nap because you won’t sleep later and all you’re going to do is goof off now. Besides, it’ll leave you refreshed and clear-minded.

Wake up to the sound of your alarm 3 hours later than expected and feel the adrenaline pump as you now have almost no time to do the assignment.

I thought of one more thing to be sure to do before you’re assignment: Read articles about swapping a V8 into your vehicle because you cannot clear your mind of it until you know exactly which conversion parts you will need. :smiley:

wow … ive been doing exactly this for the past 7 hours … maybe i should get working …

wow … ive been doing exactly this for the past 7 hours … maybe i should get working …

Wow, shyra… you must’ve been procrastinating so much, you posted twice :wink:

Sounds so familiar, only replace vending with Starbucks and various other distractions, and that’s my life!

*Originally posted by Jeff Waegelin *
**Wow, shyra… you must’ve been procrastinating so much, you posted twice :wink: **

lol … something was wrong wiht my computer … but i was majorly procrastinating… ended up finishing the project at lunch today (it was due the period after lunch)

Its funny, cause its so true.


Check the DrudgeReport or similar news sites to make sure nothing cataclysmic happened to the world while you were chatting on AIM.

Check Slashdot to make sure if some groundbreaking story happened in the world of technology, you’re on top of it (note: must be done atleast 15 times a day to be effective)


Said light-up device should contain a blue led.

oh GOD that sounds familiar… I add to it chat on tigerbolt for a while and then drag out a new book and read a chapter…or two…or the book…
this also seems to apply to diagramming. although not programming, in my case.

LOL. I was doing that all last night to be honest but you forgot one important thing. If you call your friend and they’re not there, contunie calling random people such as…those you have not talked to in over a year or more. Also…add playing playstation/computer for about three hours. Oh yes…one more thing…get on the phone and begin to gossip about the new hottie at school/team/work to your bbf.

he he…right now i have a spare and i should be working on my schools website, but instead i am on here writing this and listening to music…while my friend does the geek test. I got 40.2 something percent. he got 39.2 something! I beat him! i may be geeky-er in knowledge, but he is in practice…he is a living geek…and…end post