Think about this:
If the chips are down than the cows are eating pillows 
3 out of 2 people have problems with fractions.
Thats about the only math joke I know or understand.
I’m right 90% of the time, who cares about the other 11%?
I heard that 72% of all statistics are made up on the spur of the moment.
Ladies and gentlemen, he asked for good jokes.
Here are a few, courtesy to A prairie Home Companion’s Joke Show:
"Last night i lay in bed, looking up at the stars… in the sky… and I thought to myself…
Where is the ceiling?"
…
Someone once asked, “After you are dead, what would you like people to say about you?”
First guy said, “I’d like them to say i was a great doctor, and a great family man.”
Second guy said, “I’d like them to say I made a difference in the lives of many people.”
Third guy said, “I’d like them to say, ‘Look, he is moving.’”
…
And a speechwriting joke:
A long-suffering speechwriter promised one last address for his ungrateful politician boss. The first page of the speech says: “Some say we can’t save the cities, improve the military and balance the budget - I say we can, and I’m going to tell you how right now. Some say you can’t have environmental protection and economic growth - I say we can and I’m going to tell you how right now.” The politician flips to the second page of the speech, which simply says:
“OK, now you’re on your own.”
(Excerpt From “White House Ghost”)
If Ken can borrow a few jokes from the show Prairie Home Companion, I’ll borrow one from the movie…
Two penguins are on an iceberg. One says to the other, “You look like you’re wearing a tuxedo.” The other responds, “What makes you think I’m not?”
One that I just remembered…
I can show that homework is a force.
Stress = Force/Area.
Stress also = Homework/Time (amount of homework/time left to finish it).
Therefore, Force/Area=Stress=Homework/Time.
Force/Area = Homework/Time
The numerators say that Force = Homework. Therefore, homework is a force.
Now…to manipulate it a bit farther. If we multiply both sides by Area/Homework we get:
Force/Homework=Area/Time
That means that as you apply more force to completing your homework or lower the amount of homework you have left, you’ll increase the open space on your desk over time. Something interesting and true…It must prove the math.:ahh:
Here is a really good joke.
There are three doctors and three mathematicians boarding a train. The three doctors buy 1 ticket and the mathematicians buy 3 tickets. The mathematicians ask “How are you going to ride a train with 1 ticket?” The doctors replied, “You’ll see.” The 3 doctors fit in one bathroom and the mathematicians sit at seats. The conductor comes to the bathroom door and says, “ticket please”. The doctors give one ticket.
On the way back, the mathematicians buy 1 ticket and the doctors don’t buy tickets at all. The mathematicians ask “How are you going to ride a train with no tickets?” The doctors replied, “You’ll see.” The doctors go to one bathroom and the mathematicians fit into another bathroom. One of the doctors knocks on the mathematicians’ bathroom and asks “ticket please?”
The more you Study, the less you Know.
The more you Study, the more you Know.
The more you Know, the more you can Forget.
The more you can Forget, the more you do Forget.
The more you do Forget, the less you Know.
Therefore, the more you Study, the less you Know.
you go to your friends house and take one thing off their wall. They will imediately notice something is missing ask you where it is. you say no. Then you go over again and sneak back onto the wall and look at their exclamation of astonishment.
A father is sitting in his office typing on his laptop. His eldest daughter walks in and asks “Daddy, why’d you name me Rose?”
He replies “Because when you were born we dropped rose petals on your head.”
She says “Oh okay,” and walks out.
Fifteen minutes later his other daughter walks in and asks “Daddy, why’d you name me Daisy?”
He replies “Because when you were born we dropped daisy petals on your head.”
She says “Oh okay,” and walks out.
Ten minutes later his son walks in and says “Hurggh hurr flurr suhrrrr”
The father looks at him and says “Shut up, Cinderblock.”