What did the Igus bearing say when a shaft asked if it was self aligning?
“i-gus so” 
:eek:
Wanna hear a dirty joke?
A pig fell in the mud
Don’t worry, I’ll be back with more!
What’s red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint!!!
What’s brown and sticky?
…
…a STICK.
[badum-tish!]
I’m trying to think of some good jokes/puns, but all my ideas argon.
Three robots drive into a bar…the forth one had a better driver.
Knock knock…
GO AWAY!!!
A Neutron walks into the bar and orders a drink…
He asks the bartender how much he owes…
The bartender says:
For you… NO charge!!!
Three nuns and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them, and says, “Don’t even think about it.”
So he left.
The bartender says, “I’m sorry, we don’t serve your kind here.”
A neutrino walked into a bar.
What’s a programmer’s favorite breakfast cereal?
c-RIOs!
Knock knock
Who’s there
Panther
Panther who
Panther no panth I’m going swimming
The neutron asked the bartender, who was a proton, if he was sure.
The bartender says:
I’m positive!
A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a drink and a mop.
A turtle was accosted by two snails. The police asked the turtle to describe the mugging; he replied, “I don’t know, it all happened so fast.”
A proton, a neutron, and an electron walk into a bar.
The bartender says “what is this, some kind of joke?”
A pig walks into a bar and orders a glass of coke. He then asks where the bathroom is and goes to relieve himself. A second pig walks in and repeats this same ritual. This happens two more times until a pig walks in and orders a coke without asking where the bathroom is. The bartender is startled by this and asks, “Aren’t you going to ask me where the bathroom is?” The pig replies “No, I’m the fifth little piggy and I go ‘wee wee wee all the way home’.”
Why couldn’t the submariner get approved for a mortgage?
Because his current house was underwater!
Three peanuts were walking down the street; one was assaulted (peanut).
One day, Heisenberg was driving down the highway, when he was stopped by the police. When he pulled over, the police man got out of his car, walked over to Heisenberg, and asked “do you know how fast you were going?” Heisenberg responded “no, but I know where I am right now!”
A set of jumper cables walk into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Two antennas fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
What was the pirate movie rated?
PG-13 for violence and brief nudity
I played a blank tape last night on full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
Ghandi was quite old, so he was rather weak, he was also forced to walk everywhere so he developed quite an impressive set of callouses, and because of his strange diet, he had quite bad breath. So, this made him a Super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
A bear walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a…beer please.” The bartender says, “why the big pause?”