Love Poem

I wrote a love poem to my girlfriend, and was wondering if I could get some feedback on what you think of it, what could be changed, etc…

** The Japanese version is actually a mix of Japanese and English mixed **

K (Japanese)
K (English)

<< I’m gonna add a thanks here to PoetryBox.com for being a great poetry community, and hosting these poems. Also, if someone finds a mistake in the the wording (aka: kanji not meaning feeling), please let me know on that too. >>

Thanks