Mortal Instruments City of Bones Movie

Download Mortal Instruments City of Bones Movie : Now that the Twilight Saga has retired to the land of Things That People Will Retrospectively Be Ashamed of Liking a vacuum has formed at the heart of the young adult movie market. Something has to fill it but what?Could it be The Mortal Instruments City of Bones? It is one of a glut of Twilight minded young adult films due next year and its name is certainly impenetrable and silly enough to impress its key demographic teenagers who think they are deeper than they actually are. But can The Mortal Instruments City of Bones really go on to become the next Twilight? Let’s run its new trailer past a tried and tested oung adult checklist Is it vaguely supernatural? Yes it is. Just look at this chap who’s clearly some kind of zombie or vampire or something yet manages to maintain a sensitive carefully tousled young-adult friendly haircut. The Mortal Instruments City of Bones seems to know what it is doing.

Watch Mortal Instruments City of Bones Online : Does it have a female protagonist? Yes it does. Just as Twilight had Bella The Mortal Instruments City of Bones has Lily Collins last seen in that Snow White film. No not that Snow White film. The other one.Does it feature a respected British actor who is clearly only in this for the money? Again yes. Twilight had Michael Sheen Harry Potter had many respected British actors and now The Mortal Instruments has Jared Harris. This is certainly impressive work so far. Is there a moody unknowable male fantasy figure that women will automatically go crazy for even though in real life he’d be the world’s biggest git? Absolutely. Step forward Jamie Campbell Bower. Onscreen his character is all brood and depth but in actuality he’d probably be the sort of person likely to borrow money from you never pay it back and then get off with one of your friends at a party. This sort of character is young adult nectar. City of Bones is going to make a fortune.Is the female protagonist essentially an empty shell who only really has one workable facial expression? Yes! Twilight ably proved that these films do better if the main girl is such a pointlessly blank slate that viewers can project their feelings on to her so Lily Collins has apparently been banned from expressing all forms of emotion in the film. Once again box office gold.

Watch Mortal Instruments City of Bones Movie : Any annoying made-up words for people who are not magic? Of course! Just to prove it is not simply content to rip off Twilight at every turn City of Bones has given its characters a dismissive Harry Potter style term for referring to humans. We are called Mundanes. Another big tick for The Mortal Instruments.Do any boys parade around with their tops off? Not if this trailer is any indication. But there is a woman with a flamethrower instead. Does that count? No? Then City of Bones needs to try harder.Any creepy children? This is more like it. City of Bones has been paying attention to Breaking Dawn 2; specifically how weird baby Renesmee looked in the early section and has countered with its own funny looking devil child. Full marks.

Download Mortal Instruments City of Bones : Are there any superficially alternative looking characters cynically designed to appeal to a slightly different demographic? City of Bones isn’t silly enough to leave that out. Here’s Jonathan Rhys Meyers sporting the sort of ratty bedraggled mullety faux-dreadlock that makes him look as if he works at a fairground. Suicide Girls of the future this is the one you’re supposed to fall in love with.Still just one facial expression Lily? Yep. Well done The Mortal Instruments City of Bones almost full marks. Now come back here tomorrow with a full set of werewolf nipples and we can officially crown you as the next Twilight.


Hello moderators.

I reported this 5 days ago.

reported as well (just in case)