Then you’ll really learn the value of indoor plumbing.
At Costco, some people were hoarding Toilet Paper. The Costco containers each have 30 rolls of TP and I saw some people buying like 4 of those packages. If you really need that much TP I think you have other issues.
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we have 382 rolls at my house and more on the way, fight me
Can I get an old Stronghold robot out to storm your castle?
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nope lol, all mine and for sharing with my grandparents
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“You could have gone to the bathroom in the time you were arguing with your brother about a charging rhino and Pearl Harbor.”
“I’m giving you the opportunity to urinate!”
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Me in the discord every other day
“Plz turn on the Minecraft server, I am addict”
Only every other?
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School: you have two essays, three tests, two graphing assignments, a Spanish worksheet, and three books.
Me: but… robots
Part of a conversation between a programming mentor who should be studying for finals (cough cough @balink) and a bored me:
“I completely agree that drivetrains should be illegal. Walking robots or bust!”
“Walking bot? Puny mortal! Well make the robot move with the sheer will of our three agonized programmers all praying to Dean Kamen!”
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“I… need a DNA test.”
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“Do you know why birds sit on powerlines?”
“They are charging, everyone knows that”
Another one is
“The government created drones to make us think they have not already mastered creating small flying machines”
All these were said while we were discussing how birds are just drones that are spying on us
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Slightly edited from our group chat:
Kid A: Cords would be awesome
Teacher: Cords are probably above the pay grade of anyone in the building. Don’t get your hopes up.
Kid B: As could buy them ourselves
Me: I’ll just leave this here. https://first.corpmerchandise.com/ProductDetail.aspx?did=29262&pid=246022&logoid=0
Kid B: I will totally buy that for myself
Teacher: Yes, but the district might have to approve them for graduation wear or something.
Kid C: They can’t get closer than 6ft, what are they gonna do about it
Epilogue: The school later approved the cords for wear during graduation.
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person a: But hey in the 90s we were better then the patriots.
person b: The 90s didn’t exist. The government is just telling us they did. Anyone that claims to be “older than 20” is just an alien lizard werewolf
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That’s old news. I’ve known about that for years.
I was asked why I “look like a long lost member of The Animals”
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Not really a quote but, this happened today:
Me: *Opens door for fresh air at the EXACT same time the pizza delivery guy is walking to the door *
*Weird, confused, and awkward eye contact *
Me: *Closes door *
I’m forgetting how to interact with strangers! 
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Something similar happened to me.
I went to pick up our order at our neighborhood restaurant (which re-opened after being closed for about 3 weeks - YAY!)
They have a setup that one person goes into the vestibule, and they bring your order to you. As I was leaving, there were 2 people in line - so I held the door open for the next one. She waived me on - oh yeah, you can’t do that anymore, because you’ll be within 6 feet. Sorry.
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“Why is your child in the back?”
“I hate him.”
“What’s his name, Fishstick?”
“No, dirtbag.”
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“Octopuses are hard”
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during team meeting today, discussing plans on grants:
“You don’t have to make them like shakespeare sentences
But don’t make them Dr. Seuss sentences”
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