Ok, sitting here bored so here goes…
If you had a really good friend, then something happened and things completely disintegrated and you were offered the chance to go back and change history to prevent it from happening, would you? What if you could only go back and relive it, but it was still doomed, then would you?
I’m asking because I’m going through something similar right now and even if I couldn’t change it I think I would go back and relive it.
Any thoughts? Opinions?
well personally, if i had a chance to go back and prevent it, i would… as for the reliving it thing? i dunno, if it was bad enough for my friend to not want to be my friend anymore (or vice versa) i don’t think i’d want to relive that… but it all depends on the situation.
I don’t think I would go back and relive it if nothing changed, it would seem a bit pointless to me and sometimes when something’s ended, the memories are a bit better than the actuality. Now, as for going back and changing history to prevent it… without a doubt, I would go back and change it if it was guaranteed that by doing so, I would not lose anything or anyone I now love.
But if going back and making changes could change your future and cause certain meetings and events not to happen, I would like to think I wouldn’t risk it (but I really wouldn’t know what I would do unless I really had to make the decision). One thing I’ve always told myself when I’ve thought of past mistakes and regrets is that I would not be the person I am today without them and since I’m reasonably happy with who I am and where I am and what I am, why feel remorseful over things long gone? I think some friendships are meant to come and go. I’ve lost a lot of friendships, a couple ended badly (and if a friendship cannot stand up to some friction, it wasn’t meant to be), most just sort of drifted away as our lives and wants and needs changed.
I cannot say that any of these lost friends were worth me risking what I have now. This does not mean that they were not good friends, they were. At the time, we thought we would always be so close and comfortable with each other, that our bonds would always feel as magical as it did then. This also does not mean I don’t regret the loss of some of these friends, I do.
Now, back at you, since you cannot go back and change it, how about changing the future of it? Any old friend (still alive, that is) can be contacted… and a true friendship can stand a few storms…
Heidi
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…it’s not the spilt milk I’m crying over, it’s the fact that I just dropped the whole gallon on my toe…
everything that happens to us, helps us grow, and makes us who we are. the few major things i have screwed up, if i had the chance would do them all over again… you cant learn if you dont expirience… thats what they taught me when i was in class to become a soccer ref
I would do neither. I would know what ‘had been going to’ happen so our new relationship would be strained and just as doomed. When it comes to time, I only do forwards.
Wouldn’t that violate the Temporal Prime Directive? 
Depending on the situation, I might want to change whatever happened, but I am fairly sure that I wouldn’t want to relive it, given that I couldn’t change it.
One could argue for the futility of reliving whatever it was, to say that it ends, and the fact that it ends is bad enough. But, on the other hand, when you think about something like a roller-coaster or a great movie or what-have-you, it might be an analogous situation. You know that after some finite amount of time of having a blast, it’ll be over, so why go? Well, because it was fun while it lasted. But maybe the roller-coaster got stuck midway through a loop, and your seatbelt came off, and you fell a good 30 feet… oops.
It’s all subjective and situation dependant, I’d say.
I know how you feel, Matt. I had a friend like that, where things just fell apart between us. Our times together are some of my fondest memories, but in the end, things just didn’t work out, partly because of some things I did unknowingly. I know now, I never could have “fixed” it in the best sense, even if I’d tried, but I might have been able to at least stay in touch with her. So yes, if I could go back and change things, I definitely would. If I couldn’t change things, I’d probably still go back, just to remember the good times we shared. Parts of it would be sad and difficult, but it would be worth it, for the good parts.
i dont think i would go back and change anything because as horrible as an experience may be, it helps to shape who you are today and even though you may not realize, it has made you a better and stronger person. i know that there are some friends who i have “lost touch” with for various reasons, but i also know that had i still been “in touch” with them i would have been a different person today, and maybe one who im not so proud of.
i do think though, if this friend meant so much to me, that i would go back and relive the memories.
Whoa, I got more than one response. Thanks everyone, I’m starting to work my way through this whole mess and I’m hoping I can go back and do some reparations but it doesn’t seem likely.
Although I got more responses than I expected I didn’t get a response from the person I wanted it from…oh well, another day another try.
Bye all!
Ever see the newest “Time Machine” movie??
In that movie, he originally went back in time to save his girl friend from being the victim of a mugging/murder.
While he saved her from the murder, she still died that same day from an accident.
The point I am trying to make, which goes into many things like fate; time; and other deep stuff, is, even if you could go back in time and change something, would it necessarily be for the better, or would it be better for just maybe an hour or so or longer but still lead you to the same present??
Wow, some things just hurt your brain (and soul?) to think about!!
Ow… I had to read that while I’m in bed with a cold (and a loaner laptop!) and headache…
/me is still waiting for that one particular person to respond.
I wouldn’t change anything. Everything happens for a reason, and seeing as how you can’t change the past anyways, why regret it?
The only thing that you CAN control is the future and the present. Or can you? I think that if you just follow your heart then everything that is meant to be will be.
I would relive any friendship, traumatic or not. It makes you stronger and defines you as a person. How you overcome problems and how you handle your feelings and the situation make you who you are. Some people don’t know what they want and go through life never being totally sure.
Life is totally random and there’s nothing you can do to change that.
Depends on how far back you go. The further back you go, the more confusing temporal alterations become.
I think it depends on what happened. If the friendship were lost over something not very “serious” (ie: a fight over something trivial just happened to escalate to major catastrophe) then I would go back to change it. But if the friendship had been lost over something “serious” (ie: they betrayed you to your enemy or they cheated with your s.o.) then I wouldn’t change it because I would know that they weren’t really my friend to begin with.
As for reliving it, I wouldn’t because it’s better just to move on and forget it.