someone review my article

i’m writing an article for the school news paper about my robotics team and i need opinions. tell me what you think. is it good? does it suck? do i need to change it? is it really boring? i dunno. i need reviews. the idea is to get the team known all over school and i want this to be effective. oh! and title suggestions would be good too. thanks a lot.

hrm… probably should have attached it first, huh?

article.doc (25 KB)


article.doc (25 KB)

Darn, I wish I had written that myself. Very nice.:slight_smile: There were a couple things I noticed.

About 300 different teams meet in one location to meet and have fun.

I’m not sure where you got the 300 number, usually a regional has about 50. There are over 800 teams nationwide. Also, you repeat the word “meet.”

One the SF Robotics side, we’re hoping to have a lot of things accomplished for this next year.

I think the first word of this sentence is supposed to be “On.”

Nice job, keep up the good work.:wink:

Read it backwards to proof read. Also mention all the free guys who are smart at the regionals and nats. :cool:

I tend to nitpick a lot. You can feel free to ignore most everything I pointed out. Changes are in red.

(I also have a bad habit of abusing the comma. Watch out for that.)

article_1.doc (26 KB)


article_1.doc (26 KB)

*Originally posted by sanddrag *
**I’m not sure where you got the 300 number, usually a regional has about 50. There are over 800 teams nationwide. Also, you repeat the word “meet.”
**

300 as in the number of teams attending Nationals :slight_smile:

  • Katie

*Originally posted by hacksaw692 *
**i’m writing an article for the school news paper about my robotics team and i need opinions. tell me what you think. is it good? does it suck? do i need to change it? is it really boring? i dunno. i need reviews. the idea is to get the team known all over school and i want this to be effective. oh! and title suggestions would be good too. thanks a lot. **

I like it. I peruse others’ “press releases” in order to come up with my words, including NASA and FIRST about robotics.

Feel free to check out our press relations area.

Our press relations resource page

It’s developed overtime. For instance, just recently posted all the robot pics cuz local paper wanted small robot pic only - and a variety to choose from. Funny thing is, I found 2 of them I posted off that paper’s own online article about our team in 2001.

This press relations page makes it easy for me to come up for words in community calendars, news releases, or pics for interested newspapers, yearbooks…

thanks a lot for the inputs. i’ll see what i can do to revise it. i thought that my article was pretty good considering that i wrote it at 1 in the morning. it’s better than anything else that i write. though anything that’s robotics related usualy turns out better than other stuff i do. shrugs

no one gave me a title suggestion. ah wells… someone at school recomended that i keep the “insert witty title here” lol. thanks so much again!