I was writing up a sponsor letter for our rookie team, and I was wondering if you had any suggestions. Is it too verbose, or is it not focused enough? How may I improve it?
Dear [company],
My name is Michael Fine, and I’m a captain of the rookie FIRST Robotics Competition Team #[Team Number]. We are looking to raise money in order to form our team and compete in the 2015 FRC competition. FIRST is an international organization that aims to recognize engineers and scientists as heroes and idols for students, like sports stars and actors/actresses are now. Our team competes in FIRST Robotics Competition, the highest echelon of FIRST. In FRC, teams of high school students, led by adult mentors, design, fabricate, build, and drive 120 pound robots to compete in new games every year. For example, last years game was Ultimate Ascent, where robots had to shoot frisbees into small goals, as well as climb up a 6’ pyramid.
FRC is an amazing opportunity, for all students, mentors and sponsors involved. But participating in FRC requires a great deal of resources. Just to register for two compeitions and buy the requisite kit of parts costs $10,000, and the travel costs, robot parts, and machinery required to compete at the highest level can run over $20,000. In order to create a team that is able to inspire students to accomplish great things, within and outside FIRST, we are looking to raise $30,000 dollars, and we believe [company] can assist, not just by providing funding, but also guidance, mentorship, and inspiration, if you so choose.
Every single dollar donated will get us closer to forming a competitive team, as well as inspiring future scientists and engineers. Whatever you are able to give will give you our ever lasting appreciation, as well as [company] logo on our website, t-shirt, banner, and robot, depending on the size of your contribution. But [company] can do more than give us funds. Providing us with space to work, or access to your machining capabilities would be an invaluable help to us. But most importantly, what you can do is help us recruit mentors, within [company], and outside of it. Mentors are the lifeblood of any successful FRC team, and as a rookie team, we need them more than most. Their commitment can range from once a week to every day, and they can be engineers, programmers, or entirely non technical - all they need is an ember of interest. It would be of such assistance if you could forward the attached letter to anyone you think might be interested in this - non-technical or technical, retired or working, anyone at all.
To recap, we are a fledgling FRC team looking to raise $30,000 to get off the ground and teach kids the fundamentals of engineering, machining, and commitment. We would very much appreciate it if you sponsored us, either by providing money, or by providing space to work, tools, or mentors. I would love if my team could come tell you a little more about FIRST and ourselves. Can we schedule a meeting?
Sincerely,
Michael Fine