STEM jokes

Post any STEM jokes you have. There are many FIRST joke threads but I can’t find a general STEM joke thread so I am making one. I’ll start by making a few jokes.

What animal loves triangles? Hippotanuse

Can you sin my triangular yearbook?

2 FIRST Stronghold robots walk into a bar. The third crosses and damages the defenses

There’s a fine line between the numerator and the denominator…only a fraction of people will get the joke.

Shrodinger’s cat walks into a bar…and doesn’t.

Helium walks into a bar, the bartender says, “sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.” Helium doesn’t react.

There are two types of people in this world, those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.

There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don’t.

There are 11 kinds of people in the world. Those who know binary, those who don’t, and those who know the number ought to be 10.

What do you get when you cross a unicorn and an antelope?
Unicorn antelope sin theta.

What do you get when you cross a giraffe and a mountain goat?
Nothing. The mountain goat is a scalar.

A photon gets on a bus without any luggage, because he’s traveling light.

A higgs boson gets on. Now it’s mass transit.

the two most common programming mistakes:
0: missing semicolons
1: undeclared variables
2: off by one errors

There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who know hexadecimal, and F the rest. There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who can’t extrapolate based on incomplete data.

An actual new one:

How do you tell an extroverted computer scientist from an introverted one? An extroverted computer scientist looks at your shoes when they talk to you.

There are 10 issues that all programmers hate: off-by-one errors.

There are two kinds of programmers in this world: those who read binary in big endian, and those who didn’t get that joke.

And those who don’t expect base 3.

Never trust an Atom, they make up everything.

Do I know any jokes about sodium?

I’ll do algebra and I’ll do trig, but geometry is where I draw the line.

You matter. Unless you multiply yourself times the speed of light squared. Then you energy.

Where does bad light end up?
In a prism.

Horsepower is how fast you hit the wall. Torque is how fat you take the wall with you.

I was reading a book on anti gravity, it was difficult to put down.

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have a H2O.” The second one saus “I’ll have a H2O too.” The second one dies.

Oxygen and potassium went on a date. It went OK.

Two atoms are talking. One says “I lost an electron.” The second one says “Are you sure?” The first said “I’m positive”


I don’t feel like typing more:

2015 wasn’t really stacked in our favor.

What did one cell say to his sister cell after she stepped on his toe?


A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer all wake up to find their night stand on fire.

The engineer sees the night stand on fire, sees a trash can and a sink. The engineer grabs the trash can, fills it until overflowing, then douses the night stand with water, putting out the fire and getting the floor soaking wet. The engineer falls back asleep content, having put out the fire.

The physicist sees the night stand, sees a trash can and a sink. The physicist carefully estimates the thermal energy of the fire, grabs the trash can and carefully fills it with exactly enough water. The physicist carefully pours the water on the night stand and barely puts out the fire, leaving the floor dry. The physicist falls back asleep content, having barely putting out the fire.

The mathematician sees the night stand on fire, sees the trash can and the sink. The mathematician, having found the solution, falls back asleep content, leaving the night stand on fire.

Did you hear about the guy who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0k now.


I asked a girl out. She said nitric oxide :frowning:

When oxygen and magnesium heard what happened, they were like, “OMg!”

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a mountain climber?

Nothing. A mountain climber is a scalar.

Why couldn’t the moebius strip enroll at the school?

They required an orientation.