True things heard at college.

(edit: this entire thread is made with the utmost of sarcasm in mind. It is a good time. Go to college.)

Alright…with me now being a college student and everything, I figure that it’s my duty to warn my fellow Chief Delphites who aren’t here yet about the perils of college. I hope that the other college students will help me out with…

TRUE THINGS HEARD AT COLLEGE!

I’ll start with two favorites, both heard recently in the hallways of Preston College on the USC campus…

Random student: “DON’T WHACK ME WITH THE SHOE!”

(this second one came just after a fire alarm. Popcorn on the second floor, they tell me. And RTs here at Preston are like RAs elsewhere–just they handle more academicy stuff. And it’s a joke…he knew I was on my duff in my room at the time of the fire alarm.)

RT: You pulled the fire alarm!
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! How are you going to prove that?
RT: Manufacture evidence.

C’mon, college students…we’ve gotta get these high schoolers prepared!

HAHAHA!
Now I’m scared of college…frowns
–Dori

Hmmm i’m not a college kid but I chill at Purdue
A favorite quote?

“Don’t worry professor, it’s not a bald spot, it’s a solar panel for a sex machine.”

I’m sorry bill but it is stuff like that that makes school fun…you will get used to waking up in the middle of the night for fire alarms, random people walking around beating on doors in the middle of the night. College is supposed to be fun and people enjoy things in different ways…just don;t be to judge mental of people and you will be fine

remember this the first time most people have been away from home without a parent figure telling them what to do or have people watching their every move so people are obviously going to have fun .

my recommendation is get off the comp and go have some fun your self…

Actual, real quote heard while in college:

“You know, if we shoot the flame thrower out of the back of the car while driving down Main Street at 2:00am, we are probably going to get in a lot of trouble…”
“Only if they catch us - and who is going to chase a car with 20-foot flames coming out the back!”

Most the things I see or hear on campus (or atleast the one’s I remember), I would not be able to repeat here on CD for obvious reasons.

But I agree with Greg, this is the stuff that makes college fun, so go enjoy it while you can because remember “A bad day at college is always better then a good day at work” ;):stuck_out_tongue:

random people walking around beating on doors in the middle of the night.

Im sorry but if someone walks around doing that Im calling the cops. No one shall stand between me and my sleep. Im in the party pooper dorm and I like it that way.

lol…it is more fun to get out of bed and chace them down. :smiley:

I’m gonna have to +1 ya on that. When I was away at college, they didn’t have dorms so we had to get our own apartments, and I wish I could say 1/2 of what was said during that time…:smiley:

lol…it is more fun to get out of bed and chace them down.

The one thing Im worried about is my dorm being right next to an elevator.:slight_smile: Hey if I really wanted to have fun in Boston all I would have to do is hang a Yankees poster out the window (as long as Im not on the first story). Hehehe… I would make all the Red Sox fans irate especially since my dorm is on The Fenway.

Actual, real quote heard while in college:

“You know, if we shoot the flame thrower out of the back of the car while driving down Main Street at 2:00am, we are probably going to get in a lot of trouble…”
“Only if they catch us - and who is going to chase a car with 20-foot flames coming out the back!”

You people scare me.

Fraternity jock guy: “So, how have you been?”
Me: “Not too bad, though Murphy’s law has been killing me lately.”
Fraternity jock guy: “Yeah, I know what you mean, the campus police don’t like me either…”

Heidi

Heh. That reminds me of the one bad reason to be off-campus. Campus Police - Campus = Police. I’ve seen way too many flashing lights around my apartment building :stuck_out_tongue: (They weren’t after me, though!)

"Wow, I didn’t expect to see a mob of nekkid people running around for at least a week or so . . . . "

-said by me, watching as a (coed) mob of nekkid folks ran around putting shaving-cream butt-prints on windows (some guys in my dorm got a hose and started spraying the shaving cream off . . . it was funny)

" . . . . on a wednesday?!?!" is another good one.

I heard this one a few nights ago…
“All right boys its naked time”

Then last night (this isnt reaally a quote but worth mentioning) I’m walking down the hall and these two guys are standing there naked at the sinks washing themselves with washcloths.

The most important quote I’ve ever heard (said by my advisor during freshmen orientation while talking about grades): “Remember, D is for Diploma!”

“If you come back to the dorms trashed, definitely DO NOT STICK YOUR FRIGGIN HEAD THROUGH MY WALL AND THEN GO INTO THE SHOWER WITH YOUR HEAD BLEEDING EVERYWHERE AND TELL ME YOU DIDNT DO IT!!!”

Those are the exact words of my RA. Apparently that happened to him last year

WE had some kids at my complex running around beating on doors and we chased them down it was great times.

I have been at college for about a week and 3 days and some of the stuff i hear is really funny. I went to a private school all my life so teachers werent as blunt as they are in college. I lvoe college tho, and for the upcoming college kids, its def the greatest time of your life, yuou will never miss high school

I just heard this one in my anatomy lab.
“You cut it’s head off, LET ME SEE IT!”

OK story time.

Many many moons ago, way back in my freshman year, I lived in a place called Middle Earth, in a dorm called Lorien. Lorien was known as the “dead dorm” for two reasons. One because we didn’t party that much, at least not with other dorms. The other was because of a dorm tradition. Every year the dorm put on a Haunted House as close as possible to Halloween.

That year we did a particularly bloody version. The father of one of the guys in the dorm worked in a slaughter house. So he somehow obtained the head of a cow from which the skin had been removed. This was placed on a table for one of the scenes in the haunted house. It just happened to be right off the main entrance in the living room.

I was sitting in the living room reading the paper when a couple of upper classmen (who happened to be female) walked in. Instead of the usual “Oh Gross” comment the first one said “Dibs on the eye!” the other one said “I get the other one”. They were really excited about it.

Did I mention they were Bio majors? They wanted to disect the eyes. They did too. I’m not sure what happened to the rest of it when we were done. I’m not sure I really want to know.

Ah, yes…I found another today. I’m in music appreciation, and we’re covering the renaissance. The professor talks about how composers, at the Catholic Church’s request, simplified the vocals so that listeners could understand the words. One person asked why it wouldn’t be the problem of the people to know the words. True exchange, I swear:

Professor: What if you’ve been going to church your whole life and couldn’t understand the words?
Student: Then you’re going straight to hell.

Who knew that those hundred-people classes could be so interesting?

(and a word for you high school students: I currently take five classes. One has a hundred people. One has a smidge less than that. My speech class is around 20 for the actual speaking and practice and such, but for lectures a few other sections sit in and the auditorium fills to about 100. My remaining classes all hover around 20. So it isn’t too bad.)