The Night Before VEXmas
'Twas the night before VEXmas, and all through the world,
not a metal stock was polished, nor burnished, nor knurled.
The credit cards lay on the tables with care,
in hopes that low prices soon would be there.
The students put away their computers and CAD
And dreamt of VEXPro and the fun to be had
And all the team’s tools and the number 10 tap
Had all gone to their drawers for a pre-season nap.
When inside Chief Delphi arose such a clatter
I sprang to the web to see what was the matter
From Chrome to the webpage I flew like a flash
And went to the forums, my refresh button mashed
A post, at the top of the general forum
Took only one look and had sent my heart soaring
When what to my engineer’s eyes should appear
But the words in the title, “VEXPro finally here!”
With a jerk of my arm I had made my mouse click
Excited to find out what products I’d pick
More rapid than Tumbleweed the page did load
As the names of each product appeared in the code:
“VEX Gearbox!”, “VEX Chassis!”, “VEX Motor and Piston!”
“VersaFrame!”, “VersaBlock!”, “New 2-speed transmission!”
“To the top of the pick list!”, “Designed by Paul!”
“Does more for less! More for less? More for you all!”
As we wait for game hints, speculation is high
And there’s a sixty inch box in the kit, oh why?
And while down in Greenville, they might not have a clue,
There’s pallets of parts, and cardboard JVNs too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The sound of blue banners, and of many a poof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
In a flash full of swag, EJ came with a bound.
He was covered in corn dogs, from head to the knees,
And as if not enough, he requested more please.
A suite of products he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.
His eyes- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
And each gearbox package was drawn up with a bow,
As he shuffled ‘round the room - for style, you know?
He dished out the new Victors, each stocking a sheath,
But only after placing a Talon beneath.
He lay down new wheels, and a box full of gears
The sound of the metal was music to my ears!
He brought new electronics, placed them on the shelf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and as he passed by my mill,
He put down a swerve, made by the Aren Hill.
He spoke not a word, but went back to his work,
And placed some last boxes, then turned with a jerk.
And waving around that famous blue flag,
Disappeared from sight in a flurry of swag!
He sprang to his sleigh, and to his team gave a call,
Then away they rolled out, and I soon missed them all.
But I heard him exclaim, through the night that was freezin’,
“Happy VEXmas to all, and have a great season!”
An original parody poem by Andrew Lawrence and Wasay Anwer.