Race is a very touchy subject.
I am going to be brave enough to open up. I have faced too much retaliation in the past to not expect some knocks and repercussions. However, I apologize ahead of time if what I am trying to convey comes across wrong. I am trying to bring forth a positive path out of the mess we are all in. Please try to not be too harsh and keep in mind that I am trying to make things better.
Some things in my life that have happened that show how complicated the whole subject is:
I have both been helped along in life because of my skin color and hurt because of it.
I know for a fact that I was passed over for three public positions and wait listed for 2 ½ years to get into a police force (which I declined at that point as I had another career going by then) because I did not fulfill the court ordered racial hiring needs the public agencies were working under at the time. This is not guess work, I knew folks who were responsible for the hiring. It was not a personal attack; I just did not match the profile they had to have.
Flip side: I know also for a fact that I have been promoted over another individual based on my skin; More than once.
I have been both harassed by the police for coming out of a neighborhood that was of a different color
(I was dressed like a snotty little punk and the majority of those who were white in the neighborhood were there to buy drugs), and I have also seen black friends harassed in a different area when I was left alone.
Our differences should be celebrated. That means that ALL of us should not be prejudged on our skin tones, gender identity, biological sex, educational levels, economic status or even our zip codes.
Racism is ugly. It is real. We all have a problem.
People can be ugly. Sometimes it has nothing to do with race or gender, they are just plain mean. How does one know when it is race/gender/sexuality etc. driving the cruelty? Is there racist attitudes? Yes. Is it always about race? No. We don’t and this makes the situation even worse. It grates on me when one side says it is always racial and the other says it is never racial. Usually the truth is somewhere in the middle.
Regardless of how right a person is to be angry about what has happened I am always leery of angry people. It does not matter if you are in the right, if I see you as a threat to those I hold dear, my family, my friends, my children, or as it pertains to FIRST, the teens that I have been entrusted with I will be more reserved. I have to be. Acting different around someone sensitive to how you are acting does not help. This is yet another vicious circle we are trapped in. This is a huge stumbling block in communication and coming to any kind of understanding.
All I can do is my best.
If the automatic response is to tell me that I am too stupid to understand, or that there is no way that can ever “get it” then the conversation that is so very badly needed shuts down. Pre-judging someone on their skin color is the essence of racism.
This is a direct quote from someone close to the family: “We did not put our boot on their neck, but it is already there and they are trying to hurt us… so why would I let them up?”
Even though I disagree with this thought process on all levels, it is a common way to look at race relations from the “White” perspective. There is the ugly truth. What little I can do is what I do.
In my opinion our biggest challenge from any perspective is going to be looking for the positives in each other and letting go of the things that make us hold each other apart. I’m not perfect, far from it. At least I am coming to the table and willing to both share and listen to what is being said in return.
Finger pointing, victim blaming, divisive language and assumptions, and the incredibly destructive polarization that we are dealing with now needs to stop.
I wish I had the answers.
There is one thing that I can do. I can support anyone who wants to learn STEM. FIRST is not perfect, but from what I have seen so far it is by far better than anything else I have been involved in. Education and a route out of poverty is something that anyone who has done without should receive. Teaching is the most important thing I have done in my life.
Promote the youth. Give them the chance to live in a better world than we had. Give them every opportunity to excel. If someone tells you to re-examine your beliefs or methods then it is time to do just that. The most important messages I have received in life were not comfortable.
My pledge:
I will do the best that I can to be fair to all who I deal with. I will do my best to be non-judgmental, and the times when it is pointed out to me that I may have fallen short, I will do my best consider all that I am told and change as I can.