you have more old people than anything else…
you can’t vote…
everything relates to Disney in some thing…
a swamp is your backyard…
you’re ‘mountains’ are only 20 feet tall…
there’s a publix on every corner…
you dont get scared when a hurricane hits…
you’re beaches are famous for the most amount of men in speedos…dies
When teh speed limit is 70 and no one is going that everyone is either over(young people) or under (old people)
I-95 has been under construction for 10 years and the projected plan had it done in five and it doesnt look like it will be done for another 20
When the highest point in south Florida is a tee box on a golf course
or its a garbage mountain
When you can watch the sunrise on the east coast and drive to west coast in about hour and half to watch the sunset
There are more condo’s then houses
More golf carts then cars
when one of the biggest businesses is retirement homes
Gatorland!!!
There are only 2 Seasons, hot and hotter
Everyone wants to retire to your state
you can get a better cup of cuban coffee than espresso
You have more canals than rivers and steams combined.
You’ve actually seen border patrol boats looking for someone…
People go on vacation and stay in KissingMee (may be spelled wrong) to visit Orlando…
Two Words: Bike Week
Drinks with liqour in them have weird names such as a flaming aligator…
You swear they need to put speed bumps in the all-you-can eat buffets so the old people don’t trample each other…
Getting a job there is easy…so long as you’re looking during tourist season.
You’ve been asked more then five times in one day to take a picture of unknown people…
You take those unknown people’s picture…With their heads cut off just for spite.
It is perfectly acceptable to pay for items in a store with money that is soaking wet…
While paying for said item though…you know the owner’s are cursing you for dripping water on their floor in another language. Mainly because of the hand gestures…
The gator’s aren’t the scary part of FL…it’s the people.
Note: I never lived in FL but I had a brother who did. I’ve been told many stories.